tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-60708547698931134102024-03-28T23:28:59.729-04:00Life Is a TangoA blog about tango, life and how the two are interconnected, by Andrea Shepherd.Andrea Shepherdhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00215588849281040364noreply@blogger.comBlogger53125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6070854769893113410.post-90918481226007144742023-07-25T22:52:00.001-04:002023-07-26T15:09:12.880-04:00Our tango story<br /><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjM9I2G_mIsf75YwwaC7D7wj8hE54RVQlj4jui4N64G4UgbbtuAP73T5THgL24d-ne2AVecv6p1CutugKfsGgn9MG9q3Lt6pmax9rjlTU3yUE4wf_7vqGCmwcV-FuFZUqUhxuDwteTcdgaTt50RXDjnjB7e8D73q98DyNEkVdj0VpAghjy7UlV5JRrECyHc/s2048/PICT0203_1_1.jpeg" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjM9I2G_mIsf75YwwaC7D7wj8hE54RVQlj4jui4N64G4UgbbtuAP73T5THgL24d-ne2AVecv6p1CutugKfsGgn9MG9q3Lt6pmax9rjlTU3yUE4wf_7vqGCmwcV-FuFZUqUhxuDwteTcdgaTt50RXDjnjB7e8D73q98DyNEkVdj0VpAghjy7UlV5JRrECyHc/s320/PICT0203_1_1.jpeg" width="240" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Wolf and I in 2005.<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnDKl6ngSiVKAY5Vz5c_WJlQrnHSWF7GNJt7fUt7ch3U0WE_esWdooHn8_XoyX74h3eCL0VzaBfUtQE4gq0sh70ObcTVbDjMSkmEHlCL3zFFanuCkEUmSmeZT8tjEJnTKv1DUWzAqN1JLBhAqxiKfxuoNDTrI_5d3XkRwPpeJpRTNCzhkiPBmIRFmz5VMY/s4032/IMG_0091.HEIC" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnDKl6ngSiVKAY5Vz5c_WJlQrnHSWF7GNJt7fUt7ch3U0WE_esWdooHn8_XoyX74h3eCL0VzaBfUtQE4gq0sh70ObcTVbDjMSkmEHlCL3zFFanuCkEUmSmeZT8tjEJnTKv1DUWzAqN1JLBhAqxiKfxuoNDTrI_5d3XkRwPpeJpRTNCzhkiPBmIRFmz5VMY/s320/IMG_0091.HEIC" width="240" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Celebrating our 20th in 2023.<br /><br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div>Twenty years. It’s a long time, yet it seems in some ways to have gone by in a flash. <div><br /></div><div>This month, on July 25, 2023, to be exact, my partner, Wolf, and I celebrate our 20th anniversary. We're not officially married, so we don’t have a wedding date to mark, but, quite fittingly, we do have a tango date. Thanks to a <a href="https://youtu.be/b5N9BXGVm5c" target="_blank">video</a> that appeared online a few years ago, we know that our very first tango together was precisely on Friday, July 25, 2003, so we mark that date as our anniversary, even though it was a few weeks later that we became romantically involved. (<a href="https://youtu.be/b5N9BXGVm5c" target="_blank">The video is here.</a> The very short clip of us is at exactly 4:49; look for the young man in a white shirt and young woman in a red dress.) </div><div><br /></div><div>Over the years, many people have asked, wondered and speculated about how we met and how we got started in tango, so this momentous occasion feels like a good time to tell our story. </div><div><br /></div><div>I took my first tango course in 1997 at Graffiti Tango, one of Montreal’s first tango schools, which closed just a couple of years later. My teachers, recognizable names now but new instructors back then, were Mylène Pelletier and Mireille Painchaud. I had danced ballet for many years, was a salsa-dancing aficionado at the time and had become curious about tango after an event I had attended with a friend. I especially liked the elegance of the dance and the way the women dressed, in their slit skirts, black stockings and high heels. I also enjoyed the classes I took and might have continued, but I had a difficult work schedule that didn’t coincide with upcoming sessions, so my tango journey ended there for the time being. </div><div><br /></div><div>I kept working like crazy – I was doing in-house tech support, training and page layout in the newsroom at The Montreal Gazette, had started doing some freelance writing and was teaching a desktop publishing course in the Journalism department at Concordia University. Most of my free hours were spent in salsa clubs, which led to a couple of amateur performances here and there, and I also occasionally helped out as an extra in salsa classes a friend of mine was teaching. In 1998 she started renting space at a newly opened tango studio, the Académie de Tango Argentin on Saint-Laurent near Mont-Royal. There, I was introduced to owner Santiago Gimenez, who encouraged me to start tango classes again, and soon after to start working with him as an assistant teacher. And this time, I got hooked. Santiago’s encouragement and infectious personality gave me a taste and a passion for all that was Argentine tango: the dance, the history, the music and, of course, the milongas. </div><div><br /></div><div>That same year I took a leave of absence from work and booked a six-month trip to South America that was supposed to wrap up with a two-month stay in Buenos Aires. But luck was not on my side: The airline I had booked all my flights with went bankrupt while I was in Venezuela, and no amount of trudging around Caracas to airline offices and travel agencies could get me to Argentina without paying full price for a new ticket, which was beyond my means. So I flew back to the island of Margarita, danced salsa and partied until I had spent what money I had left and came home. </div><div><br /></div><div>I returned to The Gazette and to l’Académie, where I began teaching tango again and had the privilege of taking lessons with the legendary Carlos Gavito, who was touring with Forever Tango and was invited by Santiago to give workshops on several occasions. That summer, Gavito went to Toronto (which had a tiny tango community compared to ours at the time) to teach a weekend of workshops, and I had the privilege of being invited to assist him. It was an honour and I jumped at the chance, even though I was nowhere near ready. The late ’90s were a very cool time in tango in Montreal. Our city was considered the tango capital of North America, there were already milongas seven days a week, and along with Gavito, we had regular visits from such big names as Pablo Verón, whose career-making movie, The Tango Lesson, had just come out and who made (and still makes) regular visits to Studio Tango, which was downtown on Bleury back then. </div><div><br /></div><div>That fall I met someone and got pregnant. It became clear quite quickly that he was not interested in being a father, but I was 30, wanted kids and decided to keep the baby, even though I knew the relationship wouldn’t even last the pregnancy. The following July my son was born, and as a single mother with a demanding career I figured that once again, my tango journey was pretty much over. </div><div><br /></div><div>But a few months later I got a call from Mylène Pelletier, who had taken over managing classes at l’Académie, inviting me to return to teaching. Lucky to have a brother and parents willing to help out with babysitting, I once again jumped at the opportunity and re-entered my beloved tango world. Juggling motherhood, my evolving career at The Gazette (around that time I got promoted to copy editor) and two part-time teaching gigs (Concordia and tango) didn’t leave much room for salsa dancing, so that was the one thing that pretty much fell by the wayside. </div><div><br /></div><div>In the summer of 2003, a tango friend and singer named Stanley Colimon asked me if I would be interested in dancing with him during a musical performance he was giving at La Tanguería. He had one tango song as part of his repertoire and needed two female dancers to perform with him while he both danced and sang “Pardonnez-Moi Si Je Vous Aime,” about a man apologizing for being in love with more than one woman at a time. The dancers were Tanguería owner Laura Steinmander and myself. </div><div><br /></div><div>During rehearsal one day there was a guy in the studio doing administrative work on the computer. I found him kind of attractive and I could have sworn he was checking me out. Then, the night of the performance that same guy was there and during the milonga portion of the evening he invited me to dance. I remember that I thought he danced well and that when I asked his name and he replied, “Wolf,” I thought he was kidding and said, “non, pour de vrai.” It was more than a decade later that I came across a <a href="https://youtu.be/b5N9BXGVm5c" target="_blank">video</a> online of that night that captured not only that first-ever dance of Wolf’s and mine but also a portion of the performance with Laura and Stanley. </div><div><br /></div><div>Wolf (short for Wolfgang) was a little insulted that I didn’t think his name was real, but nonetheless, over the next weeks our paths continued to cross, sometimes by accident and sometimes by design, and before long we were an item. I was still teaching classes at l’Académie, where I had worked with Caroline Demers and Luis López among others, and was once again teaching with Santiago, but he was in the process of giving up teaching, so I asked Wolf, who had begun assisting with classes at La Tanguería, to teach with me. He accepted, and we continued to give classes together up until I was about six months pregnant with our daughter in late 2004. Classes shut down at l’Académie after that and once again I thought maybe my tango days were over. Not only are two kids more than twice the work of one, but it seemed I had no more tango school to go back to. </div><div><br /></div><div>But the summer after our daughter was born I got a call from my old friend and colleague Caroline. She had recently opened her own school, Tango Rico, in Chambly, and was looking to grow her teaching staff. So Wolf and I joined her team for a couple of sessions, then also taught some classes that Mylène was organizing in Montreal. Wolf, who has a background in fitness, had meanwhile started working at the YMCA, and he launched a beginners’ tango class at the Westmount Y. </div><div><br /></div><div>In January 2007 we rented space in a ballet studio in our neighbourhood, N.D.G., and launched another beginner group, followed soon after by another class in another space on another night as well as a small práctica. We began to realize that there was room and demand for tango in N.D.G. and started to dream pretty hard about opening our own school, even going so far as to register our company name, MonTango, and to visit a couple of commercial spaces. But we had two young children (3 and 7 at that time), no money to speak of and I had a solid career I enjoyed with a good salary and a benefits package that is pretty much unheard of these days. </div><div><br /></div><div>So our dreams remained just that – until that fall when The Gazette announced they needed to chop 18 newsroom jobs and would offer voluntary buyout packages before beginning to lay people off.
Once again, we started to dream our tango dream, but it seemed too rash, too irresponsible, too impossible. So I didn’t apply for a buyout and on the last day, when I found out the colleague who sat next to me had been approved I started to cry – not because she was leaving, but because I wasn’t. That night Wolf and I had a very serious heart to heart and decided that I would go see the boss the next day and ask if they still needed to lose some bodies. They did. </div><div><br /></div><div>It took 24 hours for my request to be approved. That was in November 2007. I worked my last shift in December, we found a space for our school in January and at the end of February 2008 we were teaching classes in our very own tango studio, <a href="http://www.montango.ca" target="_blank">MonTango</a>. It felt surreal and unbelievable, and we had taken the leap against the sensible advice of my parents, my financial advisor and others. We were fully aware that failure was a big possibility, even a likelihood. But still we knew we had made the right choice. Had we not tried, we would have wondered “What if?” and regretted it forever. </div><div><br /></div><div>We’ve grown a lot in the years since, as teachers, dancers, partners and people. There are too many stories to tell of our experiences and adventures in everything from parenting to performing. We did finally make it to Argentina several years ago (and will return next year), we’ve studied, trained and practised and we’ve taught and organized countless classes, milongas and special events, meeting an amazing array of people along the way. </div><div><br /></div><div>This year, 2023, our studio celebrated 15 years in business and this week Wolf and I celebrate 20 years of tango – and love – together. Neither road has been smooth or easy and we work incredibly hard to keep it all going, but through it all, despite the hurdles, the frustrations, the injuries and, of course, the pandemic, we are incredibly grateful to be able to do what we love every day and to do it together. </div><div><br /></div><div><i>Now that I’ve told our story: I’ve been thinking of starting a new series of articles about some of the interesting characters who make up the Montreal tango community. Look for it in the coming weeks and months, and if you or someone you know has an interesting life/tango story to tell, let me know!</i></div><div><i><br /></i></div><div><i>Enjoying my writing? Check out my <a href="https://andreashepherd.ca/" target="_blank">author website here</a>, with links to purchase my tango book, 25 Tango Lessons, as well as my new novel, The Curtain Lady.</i></div>Andrea Shepherdhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00215588849281040364noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6070854769893113410.post-12672950353913051212022-01-01T17:20:00.002-05:002022-01-02T15:23:29.384-05:00Words to live by: Practice<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjHZswm-k_yh7xuHfd5682d9TSqQ8WX6kE3RroxRvzZgfeBxmutlW8O0x78ZWNpckM4zgqP8wAs7PURk0mL5i2FOFFHWNb_dvZwpiz8YJ5HGjCauucJGokfcZpwdnYnja7KUNbazQkDpeVBcEDvu_zFxcX_CnfNtGpg8wS9by4Leo5TDQ2fnvymsGZ5MQ=s1095" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1095" data-original-width="800" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjHZswm-k_yh7xuHfd5682d9TSqQ8WX6kE3RroxRvzZgfeBxmutlW8O0x78ZWNpckM4zgqP8wAs7PURk0mL5i2FOFFHWNb_dvZwpiz8YJ5HGjCauucJGokfcZpwdnYnja7KUNbazQkDpeVBcEDvu_zFxcX_CnfNtGpg8wS9by4Leo5TDQ2fnvymsGZ5MQ=w293-h400" width="293" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Solo practice is one of the best ways <br />to improve your dancing.</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><br /><div>I keep coming back to this word these days.<br /><br />Since I'm a teacher, I'm pretty much always reminding people to practise, but the word "practice" has underlying, deeply beneficial meanings. <br /><br />As we head into Year 3 of the COVID-19 pandemic, with dance, especially social dance, being shut down to varying degrees for most of it, many people have repeatedly lamented the "death" of tango. In Montreal, indoor milongas finally reopened this past November – only to be shut down again a month later. So these days if we want to keep dancing, all we can do is practise. Then again, all dancing is, in fact, practice, isn't it?<br /><br />While it's true that many social dancing events have been cancelled over the past two years, some people have found ways to continue to dance throughout the repeated and seemingly never-ending shutdowns and reopenings, following online classes with or without a partner, taking private lessons when possible and working on their own at home.<br /><br />In addition to tango, I also teach yoga. I give classes, but I also take weekly classes and have a regular personal practice as well. Because yoga <i>is</i> a practice. That's what yogis say: We don't <i>do</i> yoga; we <i>practise</i> yoga. Unlike tango, yoga isn't primarily a social activity, so the goal of practising isn't something "other," such as going to milongas and getting to dance with our partners of choice. The goal of a yoga practice is, well, the practice itself. In addition to the ongoing improvement of that practice and the benefits it will in turn bring into our bodies and lives, such as stronger legs, better posture and perhaps a calmer mind. Hmmm. We can reap similar benefits from practising our dancing as well.<br /><br />I often wish tango were seen in a similar way. Most social dancers stop taking regular classes very early, often after a year or two. The vast majority of tango dancers take a few sessions of regular lessons and then soon look down their noses at the offers of their local studios, opting to stop taking classes altogether or to only take lessons given at festivals by visiting maestros.<br /><br />In group classes, most people just want to move up, up, up, rather than learning simply in order to learn. I say most people, because there are, of course, exceptions. There are those who take regular privates for years and those who actually prefer <i>prácticas</i> over milongas. While a system of group classes by level has proved to be the most marketable, offering students a sense of progression and accomplishment, it has the unfortunate effect of encouraging students to rush from one level to the next and to feel discouraged if the teachers suggest they repeat a course. I fondly remember one student who was only free one night a week, I think it was Tuesdays, so for years he just signed up for whatever classes we offered on Tuesday nights. It didn't matter if it was milonga, <i>vals</i>, an advanced course on <i>sacadas</i> or <i>boleos</i>, or Tango 1, 2 or 3; he was always there and he was always learning something.<br /><br />A lot of satisfaction can be found in just making an effort. This is as true in tango as anywhere else. Positive side-effects will abound, from becoming an increasingly sought-after tango partner, to improving brain function (as more and more studies show), to maintaining good posture throughout our lifetimes.<br /><br />The Oxford entry for the word "practice" includes two definitions, underlining the idea that we can practise in order to achieve a goal or simply for the benefits of the practice itself:<br /><br /><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;">1. perform (an activity) … repeatedly or regularly in order to improve or maintain one's proficiency.</blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;">2. carry out or perform (a particular activity, method, or custom) habitually or regularly.</blockquote><br />So it's clearly important to practise, but if we truly want to improve it's just as necessary to practise <i>well.</i> We all know the expression "practice makes perfect," but some have argued that a better saying is "practice makes permanent." This implies two things: that practising regularly will have long-term effects, but also that practising something in the wrong way will only serve to further ingrain bad habits.<br /><br />We see this – and teachers lament it – all the time on the dance floor: dancers with poor technique who have been dancing in the milongas for a decade or more with little to no improvement. I see it with posture as well. Poor posture develops over a lifetime. If you sit, slouch, hunch for eight hours a day or more for 30 years, your body will gradually adopt a rounded, hunched form. If you take up something like tango and wish to improve your posture (and therefore your elegance and balance) while you dance, you will need to spend a fair amount of time practising new postural habits – on and off the dance floor. I can't tell you how often I make a remark to someone about lifting their head or chest and am met with dismissive responses like, "That's just the way I'm made." Of course I can't force someone to work on something they're not interested in working on, but I must admit that kind of remark drives me crazy. If years of daily slouching can round your back, a sustained daily practice of standing tall can certainly straighten it, at least somewhat. This would not only improve your tango dancing, but also your back strength, your breathing and your confidence.<br /><br />This is not to say you can learn nothing by dancing in the milongas. Valuable skills you will hone on a crowded dance floor include floorcraft abilities like navigating and reacting on the fly, adaptability to different partners and overall improvisational prowess. Not to mention such social skills as the use of the <i>mirada-cabeceo</i> system and how to gracefully deal with rejection. And you can't (or at least shouldn't) get or give feedback on your dancing in a milonga the way you would in a lesson or even a serious practice session with your partner. If your technique is already great, you might reinforce it through social dancing, but if it's not, you will likely find yourself solidifying your bad habits even further.<br /><br />Many tango dancers abhor the idea of solo practice, believing it to be useless – since tango is supposed to be danced with a partner – or just plain boring. One of the courses my partner and I have taught the most during the pandemic is called Tango Drills. In it, we do a few technical exercises and then teach short sequences set to music, which we repeat and combine and repeat and combine. It's a great course for COVID times, because you don't need a partner for it and it works just as well online as in person. In the summer we taught it a few times in the park and posted a video of the class online. One commentator remarked: "That's not tango, it's line-dancing." Oh, how I love it when people spout their closed-minded opinions about what tango "is" and "isn't." But that's beside the point. Which is that solo practice is one of the best ways to improve your dancing. If you can execute <i>giros</i> and <i>ochos</i> alone with great balance, style and musicality, you will not be a heavy burden on your partner because you are hanging on to them for dear life, rushing from one step to the next to avoid losing your balance or relying solely on their ability to keep time with the music. Everyone who has taken our drills classes over the past couple of years agrees: Their dancing has improved.<br /><br />Often, a little practice goes a long way. When I am teaching someone and I notice a jump in skill between lessons I will ask, "Have you been practising?" Their answer, almost inevitably, will be, "Yes." Even if that means they only practised for 20 minutes one time between lessons, it always shows.<br /><br />At the other end of the spectrum, there are the students who walk away or sit out any time we teach a solo exercise or drill during a class. I remember one particular student who just stood there watching as the rest of the group was repeating their back crosses. We encouraged him to participate, but he refused, saying, "Oh, I've already learned that." He just couldn't see the importance of repeating a thing in order to do it well. If he had tried it once and understood it, in his book that was enough and it was time to move on to something else. <br /><br />These past two years with all their turmoil and unpredictability have been a time to practise many things: patience, acceptance, letting go, gratitude. Sometimes it's not easy. We've had to be patient through lockdown after lockdown and accepting of so much, from constant new normals to the wildly differing politics and beliefs of our family members, friends and acquaintances. In recent weeks, the COVID numbers here have skyrocketed, and when my dance school was shut down once again and then several family members caught the virus (including myself and despite being cautious and fully vaccinated), shutting down our Christmas plans, it was easy to feel like a victim and complain, "Why me? Why us?" But then I had my daily yoga practice, which always includes a reminder to practise gratitude, and I thought of the many things I have to be grateful for: my family, a warm home, food on the table, a healthy body that is able to fight illness, and access to vaccines that help it do so. In <i>practising</i> gratitude, It doesn't take long to actually <i>feel</i> and <i>become</i> grateful.<br /><br />I like to think of myself as an open-minded, non-judgemental person. But everyone is judgemental, at least sometimes – even me! So what can I do about that? It's hard to change our reflexes or automated responses, and now and then I might see someone who is dressed "funny" or "wrong" and I might think, "Ew, what are they wearing?" But then I consciously remind myself not to judge people, training myself to <i>practise</i> being non-judgemental, even when my first reflex was a judgemental thought.<br /><br />The same applies in tango. If, for example, you have a habit of lifting and tensing your shoulders when you dance, becoming aware of the tendency is a first step. You might need several reminders from a teacher as well as some practical techniques for relaxing your shoulders and placing them properly. Then you need to practise. Your shoulders will still lift and tense, but you will notice and you will correct, over and over again until you finally change your body's reflexes and holding your shoulders down becomes the new normal. This can take a long time and a lot of repetition, but eventually the work will become much less conscious until one day it becomes effortless.<br /><br />Just about everything we repeat in our daily lives could be viewed as a practice, whether intentional or not. When it comes to things you would like to improve on, be it your dancing or your attitude, why not make it a conscious practice? The benefits are sure to be many and far-reaching.<br /></div>Andrea Shepherdhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00215588849281040364noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6070854769893113410.post-151878287479880932021-10-16T22:33:00.002-04:002021-10-17T10:28:01.062-04:00Who knew dancers were so dangerous?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSyPe1NBWs58b82YebkVZokVDOhRulJoRisvSC_sNbuHs0FZqaT9k5Y6hF95rLaWYGE6PK1a5_wAhTt6QvGCokTyHbFAy2hj6_Hp1MFYsUxsk4wKyZEISMVDB7_inyfkixv2SlaCT5NTW3/s700/dancesilhouette.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="700" data-original-width="650" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSyPe1NBWs58b82YebkVZokVDOhRulJoRisvSC_sNbuHs0FZqaT9k5Y6hF95rLaWYGE6PK1a5_wAhTt6QvGCokTyHbFAy2hj6_Hp1MFYsUxsk4wKyZEISMVDB7_inyfkixv2SlaCT5NTW3/s320/dancesilhouette.png" width="297" /></a></div><br /><div><br /></div><div><a href="https://lavieestuntango.blogspot.com/2021/10/qui-savait-que-les-danseurs-etaient-si.html" target="_blank">Lire en français</a></div><div><br /></div><div>What does our government have against dance? I have asked this question over and over, and I still haven't received a satisfactory answer, or, in fact, any answer at all.</div><div><br /></div><div>For a long time I thought our provincial leaders were simply oblivious to the mere existence of social dance. They are most certainly oblivious to its many benefits (more on that later). But now I have become convinced they actually do have something against it and against <i>us</i>. The only public mention of our neglected sector in a recent press conference announcing the loosening of Covid measures in all areas of entertainment <i>except</i> dance was something along the lines of, "Young people dancing in discotheques, no, we're not ready for that yet."</div><div><br /></div><div>First of all, why is that the only image of dancing presented to us? Crowds of young, irresponsible, drunk kids grinding the night away, spreading their viruses to everyone else in the room. Believe me, I have nothing against dance clubs or discotheques, and I think it's time they be allowed to open, too, but what about the milongas (as tango nights are called), the salsa clubs, the ballroom evenings, not to mention swing, line dancing, square dancing and others. Activities where it's all about the dancing and much less about the cruising or the drinking.</div><div><br /></div><div>Speaking of drinking, what is with the absolute ban on drinking and dancing in the same place? Since the beginning of the pandemic, the SAQs never once closed. After all, alcohol is apparently an essential service, up there with grocery stores, pharmacies and heart surgery. Even dentist appointments were cancelled early on and my March 2020 appointment with my GP still hasn't been rescheduled. But government-run alcohol sales never stopped, because what else are people to do when they can't eat out, get a haircut, socialize, go to the gym or even go for a walk after 8 p.m.? (I'm pretty sure my nightly wine consumption was responsible for most of the 15 pounds I gained in the first three months of the pandemic – despite daily yoga, dog walks and online teaching.)</div><div><br /></div><div>Eventually, restaurants and even bars were allowed to reopen … as long as the dance floors remained closed! So when it comes to booze, it's all you want and all you can drink! But definitely no dancing!</div><div>For the purposes of health regulations, dance studios have been lumped in with gyms from the start. So my tango studio is supposed to directly and seamlessly apply the same rules laid out for weight training, running on a treadmill and aerobics classes. Meanwhile, dancing has somehow been outright demonized along with gyms in large part because of one now-infamous Quebec City gym that caused one of the worst superspreader Covid outbreaks in the country. Now, let me be clear, it was a gym. Not a dance studio. And a gym run by an outspoken anti-masker who didn't enforce any sanitary or distancing measures. So was the gym an example of how dangerous social dancing – or even gyms – can be or how dangerous an anti-vax, anti-mask, rules-flouting, irresponsible business-owner can be?</div><div><br /></div><div>As vaccination levels increase and we look toward the end of the Covid pandemic, just about every country/state/province/city in the world is allowing social dancing again. But not Quebec. There was a tango marathon in Toronto last weekend, which dozens of dance-deprived Montrealers attended. It was advertised as a vaccinated-only event and, as far as I know, there have been no Covid outbreaks associated with it. New York City's tango scene is back in full swing, and, according to a recent <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2021/10/15/arts/dance/new-york-tango.html?smid=fb-share&fbclid=IwAR0jysUU2eQ8gVKGi3JejolFy0AUmNYCCy5I0xBHS0zXS5J9lYcmd0X5Bj4" target="_blank">New York Times article</a>, Covid has not begun spreading in that tango community either. Almost every country in Europe (with the possible exceptions of Italy and Belgium) now allows social dancing. </div><div><br /></div><div>Here in Montreal, since last week, social distancing has been abandoned in restaurants, theatres, concert halls and other sectors. But not in dance studios. So you can now have more than 21,000 screaming hockey or music fans sitting side by side in the Bell Centre for hours at a time, removing their masks to eat their hotdogs and drink their beers, but dance studios are still limited to 25 teetotalling masked dancers. If you happen to have an enormous studio and are thus allowed to surpass 25 dancers, you can then allow no partner changes whatsoever and must enforce the two-metre distancing rule without exceptions. All of which, for tango dancers, means one clear thing: no milongas.</div><div><br /></div><div>If milongas – here or elsewhere – or similar events had been responsible for some important Covid outbreaks, I would understand a little more. But as far as I know, the outbreaks continue to occur in schools, workplaces and seniors' residences. So why is it the dancers who are being punished?</div><div><br /></div><div>In my tango studio, we reopened briefly in summer 2020 and have now been running small classes and guided prácticas since July of this year. We follow the extremely restrictive distancing/masking/vaccination rules pretty closely and have had a grand total of one student who reported having Covid in almost two years, but it was neither caught nor transmitted at our school or in our community. So where's the terrible danger in the dance world? I know I'm not seeing it.</div><div><br /></div><div>The physical and psycho-emotional advantages of dancing are well-known. There's the exercise aspect, the socialization aspect. … In any case, the benefits are surely more significant than those of downing a bottle of wine over dinner or sitting in a movie theatre for two and a half hours (as opposed to on the couch in front of Netflix).</div><div><br /></div><div>Still, somehow, dance, dancers and dance businesses remain in a chokehold while the rest of society is allowed to open up and move forward.</div><div><br /></div><div>To be clear: I am pro-vaccine and my partner and I have adhered to the rules both in our personal and professional lives from the start. I do not think that masking, vaccinating and taking care of my health and that of the people around me is an unacceptable infringement on my "freedom." But I do believe that we eventually need to learn to live with this virus and that if every other business and every other sector is allowed to move forward, we should be, too. </div><div><br /></div><div>The restrictions on dance leave me feeling excluded, forgotten, angry, frustrated and impotent. How about you?</div>Andrea Shepherdhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00215588849281040364noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6070854769893113410.post-74365823982140296172021-04-30T21:44:00.002-04:002021-04-30T21:51:21.587-04:00A poem: Torn<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIaEeaHlY77OvHjFb-aPXFSWw19pnLDwVibKtwa2cK44uWHVLUbRmOrNeorT9u8XiF6dRNRK-ey3fscF2s6GCwma0tftMujCDq4Y6h1MpSTegZ98dmIvR1rCpLkgRuwJZ3DZ8rRK5omZNJ/s1800/torn.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1119" data-original-width="1800" height="198" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIaEeaHlY77OvHjFb-aPXFSWw19pnLDwVibKtwa2cK44uWHVLUbRmOrNeorT9u8XiF6dRNRK-ey3fscF2s6GCwma0tftMujCDq4Y6h1MpSTegZ98dmIvR1rCpLkgRuwJZ3DZ8rRK5omZNJ/w320-h198/torn.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">A relentless virus</div><div style="text-align: center;">And clueless leaders</div><div style="text-align: center;">Tried to tear our passion away</div><div style="text-align: center;">But the music plays on</div><div style="text-align: center;">And our restless bodies</div><div style="text-align: center;">Can’t resist the beat and sway</div><div style="text-align: center;">We’ve shed some tears</div><div style="text-align: center;">Over friends we miss</div><div style="text-align: center;">And partners held too long at bay</div><div style="text-align: center;">But our fire burns strong</div><div style="text-align: center;">And we will live on</div><div style="text-align: center;">To dance together another day</div>Andrea Shepherdhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00215588849281040364noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6070854769893113410.post-23498780188958239172021-04-08T17:10:00.000-04:002021-04-08T17:10:19.556-04:00A poem: Gestures<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHksCU_dreq7DqfWO_LgnQUK35fUGoVJoq48afPjbHm1YrpG2k3M79NnUOfLNbU8jcYVXKauoZy1kdzPYe4jmT5Zqi6IaVD9rhZreCvn_ZxF5wv3Agvpw_Mh_LZbkPuxa25GUTT3yyHPR4/s1110/legs.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1110" data-original-width="800" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHksCU_dreq7DqfWO_LgnQUK35fUGoVJoq48afPjbHm1YrpG2k3M79NnUOfLNbU8jcYVXKauoZy1kdzPYe4jmT5Zqi6IaVD9rhZreCvn_ZxF5wv3Agvpw_Mh_LZbkPuxa25GUTT3yyHPR4/w231-h320/legs.png" width="231" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div><br /></div>I walk in, I lift my chest, I am confident<div>I cross the room on rubber legs and have a seat<br />I wave my hand to get a drink and take a sip<br />You lift your glass, I lift my gaze and our eyes meet<br /><br />I look away, breathe in and out, look back again<br />My stare intent as if I weren’t feeling shaky<br />You nod your head, my lips curl up and you walk over<br />I stand, hold out my hand and let you take me<br /><br />To the floor we walk together, then pause a moment<br />Your arms embrace me, my eyes close and we begin<br />I feel I know you as you send your rhythm through me<br />You pull me close and I can feel you from within<br /><br />Your steps are clear, your timing perfect, I am smitten<br />As we glide around the room like lifelong mates<br />But your moves have much more meaning than your history<br />There’s only present, there’s no past, it isn’t fate<br /><br />The set is over, we say thanks and maybe later<br />You hold my arm as you escort me to my chair<br />Another sip, another scan, another target<br />There you are, so cool and graceful over there<br /><br />I sit tall, I look your way, but you won’t see me<br />And then you're off with someone else to take a spin<br />I’m disappointed but I smile and look around me<br />At the gestures so like mine we could be kin<br /><br />This is the game, this is why we come together<br />To make eyes, to make connections and to dance<br />So I smooth my dress and stand up nonchalantly<br />Then I hone in, hoping this time I’ll catch your glance </div><div><br /></div><div>(Loosely set to the melody of El Choclo.)</div>Andrea Shepherdhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00215588849281040364noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6070854769893113410.post-81405300197321776142021-04-02T21:37:00.001-04:002021-04-08T17:11:03.095-04:00A poem: Sometimes, I like to watch<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg99bQV4d2rWIkK25o2AqM5QdtdKFe6YbSu15T-SFXTPk_c_ZjFujI0mXjp7Vng7YcOarlN6kd1_oPwVH-bLlXLKbbK-Iy1N2e-YvRmkHq9P6nzMJkFb8kEDSXSkfCM68Q4-InyxVwZ9-ON/s800/Eyes.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="457" data-original-width="800" height="183" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg99bQV4d2rWIkK25o2AqM5QdtdKFe6YbSu15T-SFXTPk_c_ZjFujI0mXjp7Vng7YcOarlN6kd1_oPwVH-bLlXLKbbK-Iy1N2e-YvRmkHq9P6nzMJkFb8kEDSXSkfCM68Q4-InyxVwZ9-ON/w320-h183/Eyes.png" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Sometimes, I just like to watch<br />Your face intense, hers passive<br />Your eyes on her, hers averted<div><br />Over there, her face in ecstasy<br />As you pull her close<br />And others pass by, oblivious</div><div><br />Lost in their own throes<br />Of touch, sound and feel<br />In their world among the rest</div><div><br />I see your smiles and I smile<br />At the pleasure you can’t hide<br />As the rhythm plays through you</div><div><br />I feel how you love his touch<br />While he's proud of his prowess<br />Both of you so happy with him</div><div><br />You are here, he is not<br />You feel his very presence<br />He’s forgotten you are even there</div><div><br />A moment of abandon<br />A collision. A passing apology<br />Tension dispersed by the beat</div><div><br />A thousand different steps<br />Expressing a single song<br />Countless souls sharing one passion</div><div><br />So unique, all of you<br />Engaged in a single pursuit<br />Two by two in the ambient light</div><div><br />The damp air is full<br />Of your sweat and devotion<br />I breathe it in too</div><div><br />Often, I am among you<br />Sharing your floor and your fire<br />But sometimes, I just like to watch</div>Andrea Shepherdhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00215588849281040364noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6070854769893113410.post-35974091962185074022021-01-01T18:48:00.000-05:002021-01-01T18:48:14.592-05:00A goodbye letter to 2020<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinUsfjrW3AdCDhrw6tcr9wcqF99ACFbvukkyVm1OyvZ9w6z2Vzzt3vdKyJiId2YKgnhue3Qfw42CmEgLGmnB-dmlawefSVIEHGSI8P4CKO7GxXf3U8Tl1gqebQP0gj7YseRcV5wM8X5ZpN/s979/books-scroll-quill-pen.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="583" data-original-width="979" height="382" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinUsfjrW3AdCDhrw6tcr9wcqF99ACFbvukkyVm1OyvZ9w6z2Vzzt3vdKyJiId2YKgnhue3Qfw42CmEgLGmnB-dmlawefSVIEHGSI8P4CKO7GxXf3U8Tl1gqebQP0gj7YseRcV5wM8X5ZpN/w640-h382/books-scroll-quill-pen.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br /><p>Dear 2020,</p><p>Goodbye and good riddance! I will not miss you, but that doesn't mean I didn't learn anything from you.</p><p>You were difficult, stressful, fattening and frustrating. You were full of loss, loneliness, conflict, controversy and drama. You drove a wedge between many of us as we put our feelings and opinions about you on full display. Thanks to you and with a little help from social media we publicly shared our views about politics and science, often angrily exposing thoughts and feelings like never before with friends, colleagues and acquaintances.</p><p>However, people learn a lot from adversity and I am no different. So, what did you teach me? What did I accomplish with you and thanks to you?</p><p><b>I learned to slow down. </b>This was one of the hardest lessons for me. Instead of jamming as many hours of teaching, practicing, planning, publicizing, managing and running errands as possible into each day I took long walks and did long yoga practices, I read books and watched shows and movies, I cooked and gardened and spent more time with my family and my pets. Sure, I still worked, adapting my business to the new reality as it unfolded and evolved as best I could, but even with online teaching (and a brief but blessed return to in-person teaching) and managing the task of keeping our tango school afloat (staying in touch with our dancers, raising funds and applying for financial aid) the pace of my daily life dropped considerably. Slowing down is not easy for someone like me who needs to feel useful and productive constantly, but I know that it has been good for me. (Now I even wonder how I will go back to working 10-12 hour days five or often six days a week when the time comes.)</p><p><b>I learned to be patient and adaptable. </b>In March 2020 I had never taught an online lesson. Nine months later I have taught about 100 of them. In March I could not imagine wearing a face mask every time I went into a public place, let alone teaching or dancing with one. Now I've done all of that countless times and hardly give it a second thought. (Do I like it? No, of course not. But I'd rather wear a mask and be able to socialize a little than stay cooped up any more than I am.) I got used to standing in line, giving a wide berth when passing people in the street and refraining from hugging my friends. Our family has adapted to the weirdness of our daughter's high school year and to all of us being home and in each other's space way, way more than we ever used to be.</p><p><b>I learned just how generous people can be. </b>My partner and I have been overwhelmed by the outpouring of support for our tango school, <a href="http://montango.ca" target="_blank">MonTango</a>. There have been so many messages of encouragement and financial donations from our community during this near-total shutdown of social dance activities. In March we hoped to reopen in May, then June, then July. We did open partially in July, but it was extremely limited and quite short-lived. We had hope for a return to normal by January, but here we are on Jan. 1, shut down more completely than ever with Covid numbers worse than ever. Who knows when we will reopen at all, not to mention in any way resembling "normal?" We would not have survived this long without the support of our friends, students and dancers and we are deeply touched and humbled by that knowledge.</p><p><b>I learned to appreciate the little things.</b> If nothing else, last year was a reminder to take the time to stop and smell the flowers and to take nothing for granted. I found myself regularly gaining new appreciation for my health, human touch, a tasty meal, a conversation with a dear friend, good weather, nature, the ability to walk, the presence of my family and so much more.</p><p><b>I learned to live for the moment more than ever. </b>I have always believed this to be one of my qualities, but this year reinforced for me that you've really got to seize the day, because tomorrow you might not have the chance. Life is short, fragile and unpredictable. So I didn't wait when I needed a haircut or a massage, when I had the chance to teach a class or visit a friend in person, when that book-writing challenge came around, when we had the chance to spend a few days at the lake or in the mountains.</p><p><b>I learned to let go. </b>Of intolerance and judgement over other people's ways of thinking, of frustration over government decisions, of impatience over everything from waiting for the end of this pandemic to waiting in endless grocery store lineups. Anger, frustration, worry, impatience: They're natural emotions, but so unproductive, even counter-productive, so it's a good exercise to notice them, avoid getting too wrapped up in them and let them go.</p><p><b>I learned acceptance. </b>Similar to the previous lesson, this one manifested itself in accepting my friends and relatives both despite and because of our differences of opinion as well as accepting the reality of the day no matter how unpleasant or unbelievable. It all contributes to keeping us open-minded, flexible and, ultimately, more generous.</p><p><b>I learned new computer skills. </b>More downtime meant time to learn new skills. So I taught myself to use a new DJing computer program, which I had been meaning to do for years, and, along with the rest of the planet, I learned how to Zoom.</p><p><b>I learned to cook new dishes. </b>I, too, baked much bread, not to mention cookies, cakes and pies and I tried lots and lots of new recipes, some more successful than others and many of them vegan. I've been a vegetarian and occasional vegan for several years. By the way, this month I'm joining the <a href="https://veganuary.com" target="_blank">Veganuary</a> movement, so no animal products at all for the next 31 days (and maybe longer)!</p><p><b>I learned to write again. </b>My initial return to writing after a decade-long hiatus was six years ago in 2014, when I started writing this blog. In 2017 I set myself the ambitious goal of writing 20 blog posts in a single year – and I accomplished it. Then my writing dwindled again for a couple of years. This year saw me publish eight new blog articles and several French translations. Then, in November, I joined the <a href="https://nanowrimo.org" target="_blank">NaNoWriMo</a> (National Novel Writing Month) challenge and wrote 50,000 words of a novel in 30 days. A week and another 20,000 words later I had finished my first draft and now I am 80% of the way through my first rewrite. Whether my novel will ever be published I don't know, but just finishing it is a big accomplishment of a lifelong goal, so, yay me!</p><p>So, there you have it, 2020, ten valuable lessons you taught me. Thanks for all of them and I'll surely never forget you, but it was definitely high time for us to go our separate ways.</p><p>Sincerely,</p><p>Andrea</p><p><br /></p>Andrea Shepherdhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00215588849281040364noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6070854769893113410.post-30254007890738006792020-10-22T19:06:00.016-04:002020-10-26T01:42:20.720-04:00Tango terminology<div style="text-align: center;"><b>A guide to some of the most common vocabulary used in Argentine tango. This list is an ongoing work-in-progress. Feel free to send me questions, corrections or suggestions.</b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><span face="Calibri, sans-serif"> </span></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://lavieestuntango.blogspot.com/2020/10/terminologie-du-tango.html" target="_blank">Lire en français.</a></div><br /><b><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSCBNoSPmGxi0GyqXzxCV5pVDqf8U9CU7PXEC3dzgaiJJtjG-Vdw4pJpWfLw4zzP9qLwJyL3X-ZU160PE1rDQGX998vKpdfUfzFPwr8cWj2pCRtzmWUvhzQWta2rm9NsnR3xtlLdRk_Sro/s746/abrazo.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="361" data-original-width="746" height="155" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSCBNoSPmGxi0GyqXzxCV5pVDqf8U9CU7PXEC3dzgaiJJtjG-Vdw4pJpWfLw4zzP9qLwJyL3X-ZU160PE1rDQGX998vKpdfUfzFPwr8cWj2pCRtzmWUvhzQWta2rm9NsnR3xtlLdRk_Sro/w320-h155/abrazo.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>Abrazo. </b>Hug. The tango embrace or arm position and hold. Dancers can use an <i>abrazo abierto,</i> or open embrace, maintaining some distance between the upper bodies, or an <i>abrazo cerrado,</i> or close embrace, with contact between the partners' torsos. Close-embrace dancing is more difficult to master for most, but also tends to be the preferred choice for high-level social dancers.<br /><br /><b>Adelante. </b>Forward.<div><br /></div><div><b>Adorno. </b>Adornment, embellishment or decoration. Footwork or flair added by either partner during <i>paradas</i> and pauses or between actions.</div><div><b><br /></b></div><div><b>Apertura. </b>Aperture or opening. Used to describe a <i>salida</i> to the side, specifically to the leader's left. See Salida.<br /><br /></div><div><b>Argentine tango. </b>Synonymous with tango, the music and accompanying dance that originated in Río de la Plata, the port cities of Buenos Aires and Montevideo, Uruguay, more than a century ago. We specify <i>Argentine</i> tango to differentiate it from the tango danced in ballroom dancing, which has been drastically transformed into something very stylized and showy as well as regulated for competition. </div><div><a href="https://youtu.be/ovvTy9-fW8s">Click here to watch an Argentine tango performance.</a></div><div><a href="https://youtu.be/qKnC9uh77uk" target="_blank">Click here to see an example of ballroom tango.</a><br /><br /><b style="font-weight: bold;">Arrastre. </b>Drag. See Barrida.<br /><br /><b style="font-weight: bold;">Atrás. </b>Backward.<br /><br /><b style="font-weight: bold;">Balanceo. </b>Rock step. Useful for avoiding collisions, playing with rhythm and making direction changes in small spaces. May also refer to a subtle shifting of weight from foot to foot in place and in time with the music at the beginning of a dance. Also called Cadencia.<br /><br /><b style="font-weight: bold;">Baldosa. </b>Tile. See Cuadrado.<br /><br /><b style="font-weight: bold;">Barrida. </b>Sweep. One partner’s foot makes contact with the other’s foot then moves it to a new position on the floor without losing contact. Also called <i>arrastre,</i> or drag.<br /><br /></div><div><div><b>Basic step. </b>See Paso básico.<br /><br /><b>Boleo. </b>Sometimes spelled <i>voleo. </i>A move where the free leg does a backward, forward or wrapping projection or kick, usually in response to a change of energy or direction, most often a change of pivot. The word probably comes from <i>boleadoras,</i> a type of throwing weapon made of weights on the ends of cords, once used by gauchos to capture animals by entangling their legs and now used as a percussive instrument in a type of Argentine folkloric dance. Some argue that <i>voleo</i> is the correct spelling, deriving from the word <i>volear,</i> to throw or "volley" as with a ball. Note that it is never spelled (or pronounced) “bolero,” which can refer either to an entirely different genre of Latin music and dance or to a short jacket modelled after those worn by Spanish bullfighters.<br /><br /><b>Cabeceo. </b>Nod. From the word <i>cabeza, </i>meaning head. It refers to the traditional, non-verbal look-and-nod technique for selecting dance partners from a distance in <i>milongas.</i> Also see Mirada. <a href="http://lifeisatango.blogspot.com/2017/10/twenty-tango-lessons-part-13-milonga.html" target="_blank">For more on the cabeceo, read my post about milonga codes and etiquette.</a></div><div><b><br /></b></div><div><b>Cadencia. </b>See Balanceo.</div><div><b style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></b></div><div><b>Calesita. </b>Carousel. A figure in which the leader walks around his partner while keeping her pivoting on her supporting leg.<br /><br /><b>Candombe. </b>A type of dance originally danced by the descendants of black slaves in the Río de la Plata region and still performed in Montevideo, Uruguay. Music of African origin with a marked rhythm played on a kind of drum called a "tamboril.” It survives today as a rhythmic background to certain <i>milongas. </i><a href="https://youtu.be/G0PO_0td1v4" target="_blank">See a musical performance of the modern-day candombe, "Tango Negro."</a></div><div><i><br /></i><b>Canyengue. </b>An old style of tango from the very beginning of the 20th century. The music from this period had a faster or peppier 2/4 tempo so the dance had a rhythmic flavour similar to that of modern <i>milonga.</i> A very close embrace was used as well as some unique posture, embrace and footwork elements. <a href="https://youtu.be/H1VDu-sl5aU" target="_blank">Watch an example of canyengue dancing here.</a></div><div><br /></div><div><b style="font-weight: bold;">Caminata. </b>Walk. Generally considered the true basic step of Argentine tango. Great dancers are appreciated for the quality of their tango walk above all.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjv7Vp968dxwNlrWcco2zaY3dbwdwjeqI1SIjj5wpWvwyWSwvGYgzbDtmtTIztPlTi-He4g86xYa5DmHwJOqb3KykWSTDWyjveEbpbAZjh0tpAUNgO3s5VgpH-4T5YrqaNhRGrWcpO0f4Go/s802/Colgada.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="563" data-original-width="802" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjv7Vp968dxwNlrWcco2zaY3dbwdwjeqI1SIjj5wpWvwyWSwvGYgzbDtmtTIztPlTi-He4g86xYa5DmHwJOqb3KykWSTDWyjveEbpbAZjh0tpAUNgO3s5VgpH-4T5YrqaNhRGrWcpO0f4Go/w320-h225/Colgada.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><b>Colgada. </b>Literally, it means hanging or dangling. In tango, it is a type of off-axis movement in a "V" position, where the couple's feet stay close and the upper bodies move away. The balance of the two dancers is based on counterweight, which they exert together in opposing directions.<br /><br /><b>Cortina. </b>Literally, it means curtain, but it describes the 30-to 60-second clip of non-tango music used to break up musical <i>tandas</i> or sets.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUqR1Ydm6aysFOJT-FA0SvQAhgmtOCaejPb-T_pPH6KXziNnS_FAWXLX9TYd_Os4_y1fEX4y-kQpD42hiQy0B1QC7wGjY70B08OnCoznsRcOtVJIgihXgIoCytrQJyE7QFxazqGrNtXu8k/s678/cross.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="678" data-original-width="528" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUqR1Ydm6aysFOJT-FA0SvQAhgmtOCaejPb-T_pPH6KXziNnS_FAWXLX9TYd_Os4_y1fEX4y-kQpD42hiQy0B1QC7wGjY70B08OnCoznsRcOtVJIgihXgIoCytrQJyE7QFxazqGrNtXu8k/w156-h200/cross.jpg" width="156" /></a></div></div><div><b>Cruce.</b> Cross. Refers to the basic crossed position used most often by the follower, in which the left leg crosses in front of the right. Not to be confused with Cross system.<br /><br /><b>Cuadrado. </b>Square or box step. Sometimes called <i>baldosa,</i> or tile. A basic, six-count sequence made up of forward, backward and side steps.</div><div><br /><b>Enganche. </b>Any leg-around-leg hooking action. Similar to and often interchangeable with <i>gancho.</i> Also see Gancho.<br /></div><div><br /></div><div><b>Enrosque.</b> Screw. An <i>adorno</i> in which one pivots in place while the feet are crossed. Often done by skilled leaders during <i>giros.</i></div><div><br /></div><div><b style="font-weight: bold;">Follower. </b>The partner dancing what was traditionally the woman’s role. Today we find non-traditional couples on most dance floors, so in the interest of inclusiveness and political correctness as well as to simply reflect modern realities, there has been a general movement to stop using the terms "man" and "woman" altogether within the context of tango dancing roles and to always use the gender-neutral "leader" and "follower." The problem is, these limited words are pretty faulty descriptions of what the two roles are all about. They make it sound like the leader is the dominant partner and the follower is passive, even submissive. The terms really do not describe what truly happens between the two partners. The much more complex process goes something like this: The "leader" invites the "follower" to execute a movement; the "follower" executes the movement he or she felt and the "leader" follows his or her partner through the completion of that movement – whether or not it was the movement he or she intended – and the whole process starts again. An experienced follower can even influence the leader's choices by adding <i>adornos</i> and her own musical interpretation. Some go so far as to argue that the follower is in fact the real leader, because regardless of the leader’s original intention, he (or she) has to follow through on his partner’s actual interpretation and execution of the lead. Also see Leader.</div><div><br /><b>Gancho. </b>Hook. A move wherein you hook or catch your partner’s leg with your own. Note that it’s a “gancho” and not a “gaucho.” A <i>gaucho</i> is an Argentinian cowboy.<br /><br /><b>Giro. </b>Turn. One partner, usually the leader, turns more or less on the spot while the follower does a <i>molinete,</i> or grapevine, sequence around him (or her). Also see Molinete.<br /><br /><b style="font-weight: bold;">Lápiz. </b>Pencil. Circular embellishments “drawn” on the floor by either partner.</div><div><br /><b style="font-weight: bold;">Leader. </b>The partner dancing what was traditionally the man’s role. There has been a general movement to stop using the terms "man" and "woman" altogether within the context of tango dancing roles and to always use the gender-neutral "leader" and "follower." The problem is, the terms really do not describe what truly happens between the two partners. The much more complex process goes something like this: the "leader" invites the "follower" to execute a movement; the "follower" executes the movement he or she felt and the "leader" follows his or her partner through the completion of that movement – whether or not it was the movement he or she intended – and the whole process begins again with the next action. Interestingly, the terms "leader" and "follower" are not really used in Spanish. When referring to the partners, much of the time Spanish-speaking teachers stick to "hombre" (man) and "mujer" (woman), which, while not gender-neutral, don't restrict the partners to one active and one passive role. When referring to the action of the man or leader they say "marcar," which means to mark or indicate, not lead. The woman or follower "acompaña" (accompanies) or "se deja llevar" (lets herself be led), which implies that it is her choice and has a less passive implication. Also remember that at the beginning of the 20th century, when there were many more men than women in Argentina, men learned tango together, practicing and mastering both roles before having the privilege of dancing with a woman. Also see Follower. <br /><br /><b style="font-weight: bold;">Marca. </b>Mark. The lead.</div><div><br /><b>Milonga. </b>Because this word has a triple meaning, it can be confusing for novices.<br /><ol style="text-align: left;"><li>One of the three musical genres that make up Argentine tango: tango, <i>milonga</i> and <i>vals</i> (waltz). <i>Milonga</i> music is in 2/4 time. (Tango music can be in 2/4 or 4/4 and <i>vals</i> is in 3/4.) <i>Milonga</i> has a very rhythmic, strongly accented beat, often contains an underlying "habanera" rhythm and is generally faster and more joyful than tango music. It has its own dancing style to go with it, in which dancers avoid pausing, mostly stay in parallel system and often use double-time steps, referred to as <i>milonga traspié</i>. <i>Milonga</i> dancing uses the same basic elements as tango, with a strong emphasis on the rhythm, and figures that tend to be less complex than many of those used in tango. </li><li>The name given to any venue dedicated to Argentine tango, usually a dance school that also holds such dancing events as <i>prácticas</i> and <i>milongas</i>.</li><li>The name given to Argentine tango social dancing events.</li></ol></div><div>So you get all dressed up to go dancing at a <i>milonga,</i> where you will hear and dance to <i>milonga.</i></div><div><a href="https://youtu.be/NaurtUsL-ps" target="_blank">Click to watch my partner and I perform a milonga at our milonga.</a><br /><br /><b>Milonguero/Milonguera. </b>A dancer who frequents milongas (as opposed to a stage dancer, for example). Generally this label is reserved for dancers of a certain level. <i>Milonguero</i> can also refer to an old style of tango dancing wherein the couple held such a close embrace that the follower couldn't really turn her hips, which gave birth to figures in which pivoted <i>ochos</i> are replaced by crosses, such as the <i>ocho cortado</i> and <i>ocho milonguero</i>.<br /><br /><b>Mirada. </b>Look. Paired with the <i>cabeceo</i> it completes the traditional look-and-nod system for selecting dance partners in the <i>milonga.</i> Also see Cabeceo. <a href="http://lifeisatango.blogspot.com/2017/10/twenty-tango-lessons-part-13-milonga.html" target="_blank">For more on the cabeceo and mirada, read my post about milonga codes and etiquette.</a></div><div><br /></div><div><b>Molinete. </b>Literally, it means windmill, but in dance it translates as grapevine. Made of the step sequence forward-side-backward-side (or sometimes forward-together-backward-together), it is most often danced in a circle by the follower around the leader to make a <i>giro.</i> Also see Giro.</div><div><br /></div><div><b>Ocho. </b>Eight or figure-eight. A combination of pivots with either forward or back steps, which, when done in pairs, draw a figure-eight shape on the floor. There are several variations of <i>ochos</i>:<ul><li><b style="font-weight: bold;">Ocho adelante. </b>Forward figure-eight.</li><li><b style="font-weight: bold;">Ocho atrás. </b>Backward figure-eight.</li><li><b style="font-weight: bold;">Ocho cortado. </b>Cut figure-eight. The forward pivot is interrupted to produce an abrupt sideways rock step followed by a direct return to the cross.</li></ul><b>Parada. </b>Stop. The leader halts the follower's action, simultaneously placing his foot against hers. Often used in combinations with the <i>sandwich</i>. Also see Sandwich.<br /><b><br />Paso básico. </b>Basic step. While the real basic step in Argentine tango is generally considered to be the walk, this eight-count structure has been used as a basic teaching sequence for decades. It is a remarkably controversial little sequence. Still used by many instructors, it is shunned by others. Supporters believe it is a useful pedagogical tool that contains essential elements including forward, back and side steps as well as the cross; detractors say it is pointless to teach a “basic step” that dancers will either not use as-is in real-life social dancing or upon which they might become dependent, thus never learning to improvise properly.<br /><br /><b>Práctica. </b>Practice. A tango-dancing event that is much less formal than a <i>milonga</i>. Floorcraft and following the <i>ronda</i> are generally less strictly adhered to or enforced during <i>prácticas</i>, so dancers can work on their moves and technique, and talking while dancing is tolerated. It is usually suggested that tango students attend <i>prácticas</i> for a while before moving on to <i>milongas</i>. During a <i>práctica</i>, teachers may or may not be present and may or may not lead the practice by suggesting or teaching exercises or figures.<br /><br /><b>Rebote. </b>Rebound. A rock step wherein the dancers rewind a step by pushing against the floor to go back to the previous position. <br /><br /><b>Ronda. </b>Literally, it means round. In tango, it is what we usually call the “line of dance” in English. The <i>ronda</i> in tango always circulates in a counter-clockwise direction around the dance floor. Couples are expected to follow the general flow of the dancers ahead of them, resisting the urge to cut ahead of slower-moving dancers or to stay in one spot blocking traffic while the others keep moving forward. On larger dance floors there can be several rondas at a time, one at the outer edge of the floor, generally reserved for more experienced and disciplined dancers, and up to three more smaller rounds inside, like lanes on a racetrack. It is bad form to zigzag haphazardly from one ronda to the next; lane changes should be made sparingly and with caution. <a href="http://lifeisatango.blogspot.com/2017/10/twenty-tango-lessons-part-13-milonga.html" target="_blank">For more about the ronda, read my post about milonga codes and etiquette.</a><br /><br /><b>Sacada. </b>From the verb "sacar," which means to remove. In tango, one partner steps right into his or her partner’s space, seemingly forcing the partner to switch places and sometimes provoking an embellishment by the other person if there was contact with the recipient's free leg.</div><div><br /></div><div><b>Salida. </b>Literally it means exit, but it actually refers to the opening step of a dance or a sequence. <br /></div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKnDweJoYRe0pjarIsDQ7fjdaoapywUkCU1oTZ671JhyxQnHwohSvEfDcEzw227_B6RJhvVuSmXAuaL4oQbmGosF-xdWhna7pehLfMxWTTIAu1qahzQiDunGReT87n-FKfl1XgUgF0r3iL/s506/sandwich.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="506" data-original-width="398" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKnDweJoYRe0pjarIsDQ7fjdaoapywUkCU1oTZ671JhyxQnHwohSvEfDcEzw227_B6RJhvVuSmXAuaL4oQbmGosF-xdWhna7pehLfMxWTTIAu1qahzQiDunGReT87n-FKfl1XgUgF0r3iL/w158-h200/sandwich.jpg" width="158" /></a></div><b>Sandwich. </b>Also referred to as the <i>sanguche, sanguchito</i> or <i>mordida</i> (bite). During a parada, one partner sandwiches the other’s foot between his or her own. See Parada.<br /><br /><b>Sistema cruzado. </b>Cross system. Refers to the walking relationship between the two partners. When the leader walks in line with his partner, we call it "parallel system" – basically just the normal walking system with the partners in step with each other, but on opposite legs: leader's left to follower's right or vice-versa. In cross system, the two partners are in fact stepping with the same leg – left to left or right to right. At least 50 percent of figures use the cross system. <i>Ochos</i>, for example, most often take place in cross system. Also see Sistema paralelo.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi06AknSdkFojkTvO4AMI5Br3e5sNpUQx-tViFQnQlfbHOZ6X9dgldiV1iszpwlpxiLy0cr7l9WqTn70WZGcGxfYPkLhrpvG5WABh7bjhwhdB385okhFSjQvN4_SpozdaMjvSjHdAjdw8kT/s466/sistemas.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="250" data-original-width="466" height="172" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi06AknSdkFojkTvO4AMI5Br3e5sNpUQx-tViFQnQlfbHOZ6X9dgldiV1iszpwlpxiLy0cr7l9WqTn70WZGcGxfYPkLhrpvG5WABh7bjhwhdB385okhFSjQvN4_SpozdaMjvSjHdAjdw8kT/w320-h172/sistemas.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div><b>Sistema paralelo. </b>Parallel system. Refers to the walking relationship between the two partners. When the leader walks in line with his partner, we call it "parallel system" – basically just the normal walking system with the partners walking in step with each other, but on opposite legs: leader's left to follower's right or vice-versa. In parallel system, each partner is the mirror image of the other. Also see Sistema cruzado.<br /><br /><b>Tanda. </b>A set of songs for dancing. Generally, <i>tandas</i> are three or four songs long. (They used to sometimes be as long as five, but that is rare these days.) They will be of one particular genre (tango, <i>milonga</i> or <i>vals</i>) and are most often all by the same orchestra from the same decade (or even the same year) and perhaps even with the same singer. <i>Tandas</i> can also be compiled of songs by different orchestras with a similar sound and feel. In a <i>milonga</i>, the format is generally as follows: two <i>tandas</i> of tango, one <i>tanda</i> of <i>vals</i>, two <i>tandas</i> of tango, one <i>tanda</i> of <i>milonga</i> and repeat.<br /><br /><b>Tango. </b>The music and accompanying dance that originated in Río de la Plata more than a century ago. Also see Argentine tango. </div><div><br /></div><div><b>Tanguero/tanguera. </b>A tango dancer, <i>tanguero</i> for a man, <i>tanguera</i> for a woman. <br /><br /><b>Vals. </b>One of the three musical genres that make up Argentine tango: tango, <i>milonga</i> and <i>vals</i> (waltz). <i>Vals</i> music is played in 3/4 time. (<i>Milonga</i> is in 2/4, while tango music can be in 2/4 or 4/4.) Dancers use the same steps and technique in <i>vals</i> as in tango, but tend to select quicker, more rhythmic figures that flow, rock and turn in order to express both the feeling and rhythmic structure of the music. They use the first beat in the measure as their basic walking beat, adding accelerated steps or <i>adornos</i> on the second and/or third beats as they wish. <a href="https://youtu.be/MJWSBaeUE9c" target="_blank">See an example of vals dancing here.</a></div><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9yqOloywNF2Y5jgRHAHxSEle3jiWkEQdk2DTgFqbhd-Cv5XYjz5kenDZ40u_x1EV_SwsrfPYcXzrLuCkFBwo_7VrAZgksaK45mh778F0mJ-W4WxwSUu8kr_8Us0lJEW2i2R9SFzv_oHz_/s1328/Volcada.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1328" data-original-width="1175" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9yqOloywNF2Y5jgRHAHxSEle3jiWkEQdk2DTgFqbhd-Cv5XYjz5kenDZ40u_x1EV_SwsrfPYcXzrLuCkFBwo_7VrAZgksaK45mh778F0mJ-W4WxwSUu8kr_8Us0lJEW2i2R9SFzv_oHz_/w283-h320/Volcada.jpg" width="283" /></a></div><div><b>Volcada. </b>Literally, it means overturned or tipped over. In tango, it is an off-axis move in which the follower leans forward, supported by the leader's torso or arms. Usually the forward “fall” is accompanied by a sweeping <i>adorno</i> of the follower’s free leg.<br /><br /><b>Voleo. </b>See Boleo.</div></div>Andrea Shepherdhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00215588849281040364noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6070854769893113410.post-3688927788168252662020-08-06T17:00:00.001-04:002020-08-06T17:03:08.699-04:00The limits of freedom<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxU9a0zLOkFegZi0GxClUxg1EDVjS6vAxI7o86lVCFT1PkhqK9keufzjT-klb2-t1c27QbfuqynoVm0zw-aHDdbKPHZa42DZOIacghuG2IgaOR_9dlSJiXHWN-ULtpCL8C3sHKhZ8ShLR3/s1300/Caged+dancers.jpg" style="display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; padding: 1em 0px; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1300" data-original-width="840" height="512" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxU9a0zLOkFegZi0GxClUxg1EDVjS6vAxI7o86lVCFT1PkhqK9keufzjT-klb2-t1c27QbfuqynoVm0zw-aHDdbKPHZa42DZOIacghuG2IgaOR_9dlSJiXHWN-ULtpCL8C3sHKhZ8ShLR3/w331-h512/Caged+dancers.jpg" width="331" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Leaders and followers have lots of freedom <br />in the dance – within limits.<br /><br /></td></tr></tbody></table>There has been a lot of talk about freedom lately. What we are free to do and not do, what we are free to wear and not wear, where we are free to go and not go.<br /><br />I am a great believer in freedom. Freedom of choice, of expression, of religion. But freedom in a civilized society does not mean we get to do whatever we want. Society has rules and laws that we are obliged to follow or we suffer the consequences. We are “free,” yes, but within limits. We are not free to kill people. We are not free to physically assault people. We are not free to steal from others. We are not free to drive erratically at any speed we please, to smoke anywhere we want or to throw our kids in the back of the car with no safety seats or belts. Generally, people accept these kinds of limits. Sometimes some of us see certain limits as unjust and fight for change. That is how women earned the right to vote and homosexuals earned the right to marry, for example. But even when we see certain limits as wrong, most of us accept that it is normal to <i>have</i> some limits put on our freedoms. Being free does not mean we can do absolutely anything, because just about everything we do affects those around us.<br /><br />In tango, the idea of freedom – or lack thereof – comes up a lot, particularly in the follower role. Tango observers and novices often see the dance as a dominant-submissive or active-passive relationship, but this is a misconception. Part of the misconception comes from the very terms “leader” and “follower,” which are misleading and problematic labels, in my opinion. (You can read more about this in my <a href="http://lifeisatango.blogspot.com/2016/08/troublesome-terminology.html" target="_blank">Troublesome Terminology</a> post.) The most obvious limits to the follower’s liberty are those established by the leader, but the follower role is far from passive and, in fact, the more skilled we followers become the more we realize that in fact we are quite free inside the structure established by our partner, the music and the space in which we are dancing. If we just throw our legs around randomly and express the music however it moves us with little attention to what our partner is suggesting we may feel free, but we are not dancing within a partnership, therefore we are not really dancing tango. Finding our freedom inside the structure imposed on us is in fact one of the fun and rewarding challenges of the follower role in tango.<br /><br />Leaders also have limits. They, too, must follow and adapt to their partners as well as the music and the flow of the dance-floor traffic. If they just lead anything they want, ignoring the readiness of their partner, the particularities of the music or the presence of the other dancers, they could call that an expression of their freedom, but it would also be inconsiderate to and unpleasant for everyone else involved. <br /><br />Is it an infringement on our freedom for us to be expected to limit our moves to those that respect our partners, the music and the other dancers? Or are those expectations reasonable if we are all to be part of the society that is a milonga?<br /><br />I believe that often when dancers feel limited or confined by such factors as rhythm, flow or partner it is not really a question of freedom or lack thereof, it is a question of difficulty and resistance to working on something that is, quite frankly, hard. Especially for leaders, learning to follow the flow of the dance floor, which includes staying in your lane, maintaining a consistent distance from the couple ahead of you and adapting to constantly changing situations, is one of the most difficult parts of learning to tango. You’ve finally figured out how to string some moves together and lead them clearly to a partner, then you go to your first milonga and can’t do half of them because you are constantly having to stop, slow down and change your plan according to what is happening all around you. It’s frustrating, for sure, but it’s a necessary part of the learning process. It’s not about freedom, it’s about respect. Tango is a social dance, which means we are not dancing alone and we are not dancing uniquely for our own personal pleasure. In a class, a <i>práctica</i> or a <i>milonga</i> we are part of a society, so we cannot be overly individualistic, disregarding what effect our actions might have on those around us.<br /><br />It’s an over-used comparison, but when you are driving on the highway do you back up against traffic, lane change without looking first, drive at any speed you please and zigzag back and forth every time there’s a car ahead of you? Probably – hopefully – not. And you probably don’t complain that it’s an infringement on your freedom to avoid doing those things. You accept that in order to have the privilege of being allowed to drive you have to take on the responsibility of following the rules of the road. Similarly, learning to dance within tango society is difficult, but don’t use your personal freedom as an excuse for not tackling the tough part of the job.<br /><br />When dancers roll their eyes impatiently if teachers insist that they listen to and follow the beat of the music, are they really protesting a lack of liberty to dance how they want and just execute their fancy moves, or is it an excuse because it is difficult to learn musicality if it doesn’t come naturally?<br /><br />Liberty has limits. Sometimes those limits are annoying. I know I was annoyed when I had to wait six months and pay hundreds of dollars for a permit to change the balcony railings on my house. “It’s my house and I should be able to do what I want with it!” I said in frustration more than once. While I maintain that the long wait and hefty fees were out of proportion with such a minor change, the need to apply for permits does exist for good reason. Should I be allowed to build up my house so it blocks the view and sunlight of all my neighbours? Or install a giant pornographic statue on my front lawn? Limits to our freedom are normal, because my freedom should not create great discomfort or danger to you. When we are part of a collective whole, and we are, it’s just selfish, immature and naïve to think that liberty means the right to just do whatever we want. Sure some limits are unfair, and we can and should work to change them when they are outright wrong or outdated. But to make sure the big issues get taken seriously, we should make sure we are not just reacting in frustration to our own minor inconveniences when we cry freedom.<br /><br />Another issue that is currently front and centre both inside and outside tango is personal hygiene. <br /><br />Going back to pre-COVID times, people were certainly free not to wash their hands after using the toilet. They wouldn’t be arrested for not doing it. But I think most dancers would agree that it’s unhygienic, disrespectful and, well, gross not to, especially in tango, where you’re going to hold countless other dancers’ hands with your germy ones. People are also free not to brush their teeth or wear deodorant. But in tango society, where its members spend most of their time in very close contact with each other, hand-washing, teeth-brushing and deodorant-wearing are really the bare minimum in terms of acts of respect when it comes to hygiene habits.<br /><br />Now, in COVID times, there are stricter hygienic measures in place everywhere for much more urgent health reasons. Everyone is being told to wash their hands more thoroughly and often than ever and to wear masks to help protect not the comfort but the health and safety of those around us. And a surprising number of people are getting up in arms about this being an infringement on their freedom. Well, yes it is. Just like other safety regulations like not smoking in offices and restaurants, wearing a seatbelt in your car and not bringing weapons into a school or an airplane. These are all infringements on our personal freedoms, but they are for the health and safety of everyone.<br /><br />I remember a few years ago a dancer I knew had decided to drastically change his lifestyle. He gave up his house and his career to follow a path of yoga, meditation and nomadic living. We didn’t see him for many months and then one day he showed up at tango barefoot and bushy-bearded in a tank top, his hairy and, frankly, very strong-smelling armpits on full display. “People’s odours don’t offend me,” he mentioned at some point. (Perhaps he had overheard someone comment on his?) Truly, I respect that. I am more non-conformist than conformist and I sure believe people should pretty much be allowed to dress how they like and choose not to wear deodorant if they don’t want to. But what about at a milonga? He danced with a couple of women who then complained to my partner and me about his smell and we were torn: Do we ask him to leave for the comfort of others or do we respect his freedom to wash and dress as he pleases? In the end he didn’t stay long anyway and we haven’t seen him since, so we never did have to tackle that particular dilemma.<br /><br />In tango we get really close to others. People’s odours do offend a lot of people, and if you’re going to dance in close embrace with other people, most of those people probably don’t want to smell your three-day-old sweat and feel your damp body hair glued against their skin. If you refuse to take other people’s comfort into consideration, while you may be expressing your own freedom of choice, you are also disregarding the freedom of those around you to enjoy a pleasant environment.<br /><br />Having to follow our partner, time our steps to the music and respect the space of the other dancers all inhibit our freedom of choice and movement on the dance floor. But if we don’t do those things we are disregarding everyone else on the floor as well as the dance itself. And if we go too far, the managers of the establishment should feel free to ask us to leave. <br /><br />Tango society is always a reflection of society at large, and the aforementioned parallels regarding freedom within confines have been standing out to me lately. In tango as in life we are free to move and to express ourselves, but that freedom is limited by a structure that we must respect or we will not have tango, we will have chaos.Andrea Shepherdhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00215588849281040364noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6070854769893113410.post-56273045652271372192020-07-14T14:50:00.002-04:002020-07-19T13:38:50.214-04:00What tango means to each of us<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSDK7fAnwLA3WjGbC0rxTfwD8rhuML4Cfh__c1cP-j-6MInZPbtfPM0uGMWJ1IdbrSkBy1VzRUK9RD8r-0JK_O2RZLxQGCXu-sThkof5a7MJTynAsA4MiPAVOuJdFRNJ_ai6Wq323dRG5v/s1944/ConfinedTango.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1097" data-original-width="1944" height="354" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSDK7fAnwLA3WjGbC0rxTfwD8rhuML4Cfh__c1cP-j-6MInZPbtfPM0uGMWJ1IdbrSkBy1VzRUK9RD8r-0JK_O2RZLxQGCXu-sThkof5a7MJTynAsA4MiPAVOuJdFRNJ_ai6Wq323dRG5v/w625-h354/ConfinedTango.jpg" width="625" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">How long can technique classes and masked prácticas stand in for the tango that once was?<br /><br /></td></tr></tbody></table><a href="http://lavieestuntango.blogspot.com/2020/07/que-signifie-le-tango-pour-chacun-de.html" target="_blank">Lire en français</a><br /><br />Of all the activities that have been affected by the current COVID pandemic, social events have been the hardest hit, including tango.<br /><br />For those of us who work in tango, especially those who make our living from it, it means our livelihood has been taken away and our immediate financial future looks grim. Many tango professionals are rethinking their careers. Schools and milongas around the world have closed and some teachers are seeking out job training in other fields.<br /><br />Social dancers, too, have spent their time away from tango re-evaluating their relationship with the dance. For many, no more social tango has meant no more social <i>life</i>. For all of us, it has reduced or eliminated the activity we are most passionate about. Some dancers are sitting it out until things are back to pre-COVID normal. Others are using the time to learn and practice however they can, hoping to be better dancers than ever when social events return. Still others, those who already struggled with tango's complex social side, have decided they will make this pause permanent. <br /><br />During lockdown, when we could only go out to buy groceries or walk the dog (if we were lucky), the only options available in tango, pretty much planet-wide, were online. Many teachers, myself included, jumped on the Zoom bandwagon, hosting virtual classes for singles and couples. On social media, some people shunned such offerings. “That’s not tango,” some lamented. “I would rather not dance than dance without a real embrace,” others insisted. Who can blame them? Especially for those who don’t live with a tango partner, a lesson on a computer screen is no replacement for warm abrazos in a bustling milonga.<br /><br />But for my partner and me, whose vocation it is not just to provide fun tango events but also to give people the tools to dance well so that when they go to the fun events they dance ever better and enjoy themselves even more, we saw it as an opportunity to get people to take time to work on their technique and up their skills. <br /><br />Of course as full-time teachers and studio owners we have a different perspective from that of your average milonga-going social dancer. But then again, we teach because we believe in learning. And we believe learning is not just the means to the end that is the ability to hold your own in a milonga; we also believe working hard and improving your dance skills are rewarding in and of themselves. (<a href="https://www.blogger.com/#">You can read my blog post on the subject here.</a>) After all, my partner and I are so passionate about tango we made it our life’s work, yet we spend a lot more time learning, practicing and teaching than we do dancing socially.<br /><br />In any case, some students did join our online classes, sticking with us through our own learning curve of online teaching, in some cases until this day. Some – both solo and partnered students – found the classes extremely helpful, were motivated to practice between lessons and have made noticeable improvements. Sure, the feedback we can give through a small screen is limited and the hands-on help is nonexistent, but there’s still lots to be gained from diligent practice … with a coach to guide you through it.<br /><br />Another thing I did during lockdown was to join a community of neotango DJs who set up livestreamed online “milongas.” Of course they weren’t really milongas, they were more of an Internet radio show. Is it the same to DJ for an unseen audience as it is for live dancers? Of course not. But it was pretty cool to know that people were listening to my music live all over the world, from North America to Europe to Australia. And you could chat with them as they listened, which was fun and different and allowed us to connect with tango people from other communities. Surprisingly, I saw some angry exchanges on Facebook among some of those who had been involved in the project and dedicated to the cause of keeping tango – specifically neotango – alive and those who wanted nothing to do with it. For sure those who participated in online DJing events were happy to share their music and chat about it, while giving and getting their musical fix to some extent at least. But again, for some it felt like a poor replacement, period. Why listen to tandas if you can’t dance to them? Both perspectives are understandable, for sure. What was less understandable to me was that there would be fighting and defensiveness over such an issue. Why criticize someone for offering a service just because you don’t want to use it? And why criticize someone for not wanting a service you offer? <br /><br />Here in July in Montreal, the COVID curve has flattened somewhat and the city has progressively deconfined (too carelessly in my opinion, but that’s not the subject here). First, stores reopened and small outdoor gatherings were permitted. Then daycares, day camps and outdoor sports opened. Therapeutic and esthetic services, such as dentists, physiotherapists, massage therapists, manicurists and hairdressers went back to work. Restaurants and bars reopened. And, finally, gyms, indoor sports and, yes, dance studios. But. <br /><br />With good reason, all of these are limited. Masks are either required or strongly recommended for most indoor activities and attendance limits and distancing guidelines are still in place. For tango, that pretty much means for now it is a couples-only activity. At our studio we have a couple of technique classes for solo dancers on offer and for the rest, people must come with their own partner and there are no partner changes in any of our classes or practices. The number of participants is also greatly reduced so we can ensure physical distance on and off the dance floor. So no more milongas with 50 or 100 people milling about. Currently our busiest activity is a short guided práctica we limit to eight couples, or 16 people, all of whom wear masks.<br /><br />This makes me sad, because even though I am one of the lucky ones to have my very own very excellent tango partner, I have never seen tango as a couples’ activity. It’s a social activity. We dance it in couples, but we share it with all our tango friends. I’m pretty sure more people go to milongas as singles than couples, and even those who do show up as a pair usually change partners almost as much as anyone else. We all know that changing partners improves our lead-follow skills and keeps things fresh. I felt a pang of guilt when I announced a couples-only activity on Facebook and someone reacted with a sad face. But it’s couples-only or nothing at all and we prefer to do something than nothing. And you know what? It’s still a social activity. Everyone there is sharing their love of the music and the dance. They introduce themselves from behind their masks and have a chat – at a distance – sharing their experiences about how things were, are and will be. So while it’s not the same tango we were dancing a year ago, it is still tango and it is still a good time.<br /><br />My partner and I, along with many others, fear “back to normal” will not come for a long time. Some people predict it will be a year or two before we are back in packed milongas changing partners at will. I, optimistically, estimate at least six months more of couples-only and mask-wearing. So we try to evolve with the situation and make tango what it can be for now: a set of online tandas, a technique class, a practice session for couples, a thoughtful blog post. Some dancers are happy for whatever tastes they can get and will enjoy the small pieces while they wait for the whole to return one day. Some dancers want the full package – crowded floors, a selection of partners, uncovered faces – or nothing at all.<br /><br />So what is my point? That tango, for me, is not just one thing and it is not all or nothing. But if that’s what it is for you, that is your experience and it is as valid as any other. And just as I will not judge you for what you can’t bring yourself to participate in, you should not judge someone else for making tango whatever it can be for now.<br /><br /><b>Related articles: <br /></b><a href="https://www.blogger.com/#">Work hard, have fun</a><br /><a href="https://www.blogger.com/#">Quest for the truth</a>Andrea Shepherdhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00215588849281040364noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6070854769893113410.post-23775512599911402392020-05-11T22:03:00.001-04:002020-05-11T22:09:56.577-04:00Learning to slow down<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHKYbLd3xAoR0-tR0cG8QVPWo5ijw90NaShZ_jEHYHF4vQeIC9rlvdy2CS34Z3sCrv76Xzigq7zuAjhbkmhUocmV8QtUlICXYNdMGFl-TnOhrW3Q0ZC1lQm4tyz38jHrv2UZymnH0Qegx0/s1600/smell+the+flowers.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="966" data-original-width="800" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHKYbLd3xAoR0-tR0cG8QVPWo5ijw90NaShZ_jEHYHF4vQeIC9rlvdy2CS34Z3sCrv76Xzigq7zuAjhbkmhUocmV8QtUlICXYNdMGFl-TnOhrW3Q0ZC1lQm4tyz38jHrv2UZymnH0Qegx0/s400/smell+the+flowers.jpg" width="331" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Having the time to slow down and smell the flowers <br />
is just one potential benefit of these difficult times.</td></tr>
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The COVID-19 outbreak has infected us all with fear and frustration, but it has also provided us with a potential learning opportunity. I know it has reminded me of some valuable life lessons that reflect those I have learned and in turn taught in tango.<br />
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<b>Slow down</b></div>
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This is a hard one for many, including myself. Even decades ago, before I had a business to run and a family to raise I was addicted to staying busy. In my 20s I had a full-time career with crazy hours to which I added freelance writing and a university teaching gig. Then I took up social dancing, first salsa then tango, which meant on pretty much every evening off I was in the clubs until all hours. Eventually it also meant that I would add tango teaching to my work schedule. I’m not complaining: No one told me to be chronically active and busy and I guess I like it that way, always feeling I have a sense of purpose and something fulfilling to do. And when I do relax, whether that means a good book or some Netflix after dinner or our annual two-week family vacation in the middle of nowhere, I feel like I truly deserve it. I don’t slow down often, but whenever I do I immediately feel the benefits, whether it’s those of getting more sleep, having more quality time with my kids, home-cooked meals, time to stimulate my mind and creativity with reading and writing or just sitting and soaking up some sunshine. And then I inevitably think I should find a way to have more downtime in my daily life. I don’t always manage to find it, but at least I remember that it’s good for me and I know I will seek it out again when I can. So now here I am and here many of us are being forced to slow down while we wait for our jobs and our social activities to resume. It’s a perfect time to remind ourselves of the benefits of a slower-paced life.<br />
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On the dance floor what does it mean to slow down? Well, it could mean to focus on quality rather than quantity in your dancing. For example, lead fewer figures and focus more on the connections – to the music, your partner and the dancers around you. We teachers say this all the time, but it’s often hard for us to get the message across that there is more pleasure to be found in something simple done with care than in big, seemingly impressive moves that may be led roughly or invade the space of other dancing couples. There is also a strange phenomenon of impatience to constantly move forward in the <i>ronda</i>. This leads to a lot of zigzagging, cutting in front of people and general frustration on the dance floor. What I often ask is: “What’s the rush?” We tango dancers are literally going around and around in circles, so there is no destination and absolutely no advantage to moving ahead over staying in one spot – as long as you are following the general flow of the dancers ahead of you.<br />
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<b>Live in the moment</b></div>
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We are living a stressful time for sure, and I am as anxious about what the future holds as anyone else. <a href="http://lifeisatango.blogspot.com/2020/04/breath-and-balance.html" target="_blank">I wrote a whole post about my anxiety a few weeks ago.</a> The uncertainty about the future is real and the worries are normal, but they aren’t particularly helpful. If we’re constantly guessing and obsessing about the future we aren’t in a state where we can be receptive to the lessons we could be learning right now from what is happening … such as the importance of family time or the benefits of learning to slow down.<br />
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The ability to be fully and completely in the present is a <a href="http://lifeisatango.blogspot.com/2015/05/eight-personality-traits-that-will-make.html" target="_blank">very valuable quality</a> for a tango dancer to have. If we are constantly thinking about what’s coming up, working our way toward the next impressive move or wondering what our leader is going to do next, we are not truly present, and our connection will be lacking. One of the things I love most about dancing tango is that I can abandon myself to the dance, no matter what happened before or what might come later. I have mentioned before that I sometimes enter a <a href="http://lifeisatango.blogspot.com/2018/02/meditango.html" target="_blank">meditative state</a> when I am dancing tango. It’s one of the reasons I love it. People who have a natural knack for living in the moment may take quite easily to tango. For those who don’t, they may find that tango can help them learn to relax and let go a little.<br />
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<b>Appreciate simple pleasures</b></div>
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When life slows down it offers us time to stop and smell the flowers. What are those of us who have been forced to slow down doing? Baking bread. Knitting. Planting flowers. Going for long walks. Phoning our friends just to chat. I know that for me, now that I have adapted to the pace and routine of my new normal, I am loving the fact that I have time to cook and take long walks every day, and when I go back to the life I am of course still missing I know I will miss having all this time to smell the flowers and bake bread. So I am being sure to appreciate these simple pleasures while I have the time.<br />
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On the dance floor, leaders and followers alike often get into the habit of partner-blaming. Whether that means you’re correcting your follower every time she misses a lead or you’re feeling impatient because your partner’s lead isn’t as clear as that of the teacher, you might be missing your chance to enjoy a dance by forgetting to focus on the positive aspects of the dancer in your arms. Maybe his repertoire is limited but his embrace is a dream. Perhaps she hasn’t learned <i>ganchos</i> or <i>volcadas</i> yet but she’s light as a feather to dance with. Maybe he’s an average lead but his musicality is spot-on. Perhaps she moves a little clumsily but she loves to dance and her joy just shines through. After all, it’s the simple pleasures of tango we are all missing right now: the warm embraces, the beautiful music, the friendly conversations. Let’s remember that on the long-awaited day when we get back to the milongas.<br />
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<b>Accept that plans change</b></div>
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I’ve written about this in past in the context of tango. Accepting that <a href="http://lifeisatango.blogspot.com/2017/09/twenty-tango-lessons-part-11-learning.html" target="_blank">things usually don’t go according to plan</a> is key to being a good tango dancer, because it means you are able to adapt to different situations on the fly – a must for any leader or follower. <br />
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Meanwhile, across the planet just about everyone has had to put plans on hold, fully abandon some projects and live daily life in ways none of us saw coming a few short weeks or months ago. If we remain stubbornly attached to the plans we were making and the life we were living then we will only face more disappointment as time moves on. Some things will certainly go back to the way they were, but we don’t know when that will be and we can’t realistically expect the world to emerge from this crisis unchanged. We need to accept that and be ready to adapt to the changes that lie ahead. Maybe some of those changes will even be for the better. (We have already seen the benefits to the environment, for example.)<br />
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<b>Find your patience</b></div>
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Every time I see another grocery store lineup snaking around the block my initial reaction is to sigh, roll my eyes and immediately feel impatient. But I need groceries so I stand there like everyone else and as I wait my turn I take the opportunity to still my mind and work on my patience. Yes, it would be nice to be able to zip in and out like I used to, without keeping my distance, stopping to sanitize my hands or following the arrows on the floor. But that would be rude (not to mention dangerous) and unfair to everyone else, so I accept it and I wait my turn. The system is annoying for sure: I don’t like wearing masks, staying away from everyone and being told where I can and can’t walk. But anyone with good sense understands that these rules are in place for good reason and it’s in our interest to follow them. I’m sure we’ve all been inside stores where the directions and lineups are well-managed and others where they’re not. Which makes for a more pleasant shopping experience? The more customers who follow the guidelines, the better things flow and the better my mood at the end of the expedition. <br />
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Likewise, there can be a lot of impatience on a tango dance floor. Often, dancers are in a rush to enter the line of dance and, as mentioned above, they’re obsessed with moving forward as fast as possible. But tango is a social dance and a big part of it is – or should be – respecting the other dancers on the floor and making an effort to move with rather than against them. That’s why you’re supposed to wait your turn and merge with caution when entering the <i>ronda</i> and then keep to your lane and move forward keeping a consistent distance from the couple ahead of you. If you’re not used to <a href="http://lifeisatango.blogspot.com/2017/10/twenty-tango-lessons-part-13-milonga.html" target="_blank">observing these <i>codigos</i></a> when you dance, you may feel impatient at first, but it’s amazing how smooth a dance floor flow can be when everyone exercises a little patience, awareness and respect. Like in the grocery stores in these times of social distancing, it can feel like our freedom is being suppressed when we have to follow all these rules, but if just a few people don’t it doesn’t take long before chaos reigns, and then the frustration really kicks in.<br />
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<b>Focus on the journey, not the destination</b></div>
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Clichés tend to lose their meaning after being repeated too many times, but they usually exist because there is much truth to them. This oft-repeated quote applies perfectly both on and off the dance floor. Sure we all have goals we spend much of our lives working toward. We have goals in tango, too. Perhaps we want to up our skills or embark on a new project like performing or attending our first festival or marathon. But what good is achieving goals if we forget to appreciate and enjoy the long, rich process of working toward them? As we have all just learned the hard way, life has a way of taking unexpected turns, so sometimes our ultimate objectives get – by no fault of our own – postponed or even fully derailed. It can be greatly disappointing, but if we learned something from and maybe even enjoyed the process then it wasn’t for nothing. In these times when “normal” life seems to be on hold and our future feels so uncertain, it makes good sense to slow down, live in the present, be grateful for what we have, learn from the journey itself and obsess a little less over where we are headed.<br />
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<b>Related:</b><br />
<a href="http://lifeisatango.blogspot.com/2015/05/eight-personality-traits-that-will-make.html" target="_blank">Eight personality traits that will make you a better tango dancer</a><br />
<a href="http://lifeisatango.blogspot.com/2017/10/twenty-tango-lessons-part-13-milonga.html" target="_blank">The milonga has rules and we should follow them</a><br />
<a href="http://lifeisatango.blogspot.com/2017/09/twenty-tango-lessons-part-11-learning.html" target="_blank">Learning to let go of the plan</a><br />
<a href="http://lifeisatango.blogspot.com/2018/02/meditango.html" target="_blank">Meditango</a><br />
<a href="http://lifeisatango.blogspot.com/2020/04/breath-and-balance.html" target="_blank">Searching for breath and balance</a></div>
Andrea Shepherdhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00215588849281040364noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6070854769893113410.post-28199797778059703502020-04-16T17:53:00.000-04:002020-04-30T17:41:08.248-04:00Searching for breath and balance<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGZqjd-_MbXM8Bj5FeD89wXmULpUybdnfhTTe-l5rhRyMmA29I6YvXQg02XrF-azVfzJNSj4ie9cwX4-n8cFYIAJyiDDqcR_NUh8ijxeyMXEfozTnlYZxAqoMTzlPhiiXCC9TKdD4unrIL/s1600/Breathe+copy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="495" data-original-width="880" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGZqjd-_MbXM8Bj5FeD89wXmULpUybdnfhTTe-l5rhRyMmA29I6YvXQg02XrF-azVfzJNSj4ie9cwX4-n8cFYIAJyiDDqcR_NUh8ijxeyMXEfozTnlYZxAqoMTzlPhiiXCC9TKdD4unrIL/s400/Breathe+copy.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ever since this pandemic hit us, breathing easy feels like a thing of the past.</td></tr>
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<a href="https://lavieestuntango.blogspot.com/2020/04/a-la-recherche-du-souffle-et-de.html" target="_blank">Lire en français</a><br />
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So far, the posts on this blog titled “Life Is a Tango” have been reflections on tango that also apply to life.<br />
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This post is a reflection on life that also applies to tango.<br />
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One of the hardest things for me during this time of social distancing has been finding a new balance in my days and my life. Compared to those who have lost loved ones or who are totally isolated in quarantine, my hardships are minor, but still they have taken their toll on me.<br />
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First, ever since this began – since the day we decided to close the doors of our tango school just over a month ago – I have been unable to breathe quite right. I tend toward anxiety and am accustomed to having days here and there of feeling breathless or tight in the chest – like I can never quite fill my lungs – but it’s pretty clearly affected by monthly hormonal fluctuations and I usually know that I will breathe normally in a day or two so I don’t worry about it. Once last year it persisted for five days and, like now, no amount of relaxing, yoga breathing or focusing on the exhale would change it, but it did finally get better after five days. <br />
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One time, six or seven years ago, I had an outright anxiety attack, which was very scary. I think I had had a big argument with both my son and my spouse and was just beside myself with anger. I decided to clear my head by going for a run, something I did regularly, and when I had gotten about three blocks from home suddenly I just felt my lungs close up completely. I was unable to breathe beyond the tiniest wheeze, and I was terrified. I stopped, put my hands on my chest and bent over, and someone who had just happened to step out on his front porch asked if I was OK. I managed to sort of gasp that I couldn’t breathe and he sat me down on the ledge of his walkway and asked if he should call an ambulance. Once I sat down, it didn’t take long for the tension in my chest to start to release and I slowly felt I could take in air again, a little more with each breath, so I told him not to call anyone, that I didn’t live far and could walk back home. The whole episode was probably over in less than five minutes, but it felt a lot longer and I sure hope it never happens again.<br />
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Back to the present, I have been struggling with this almost constant tightness in the chest to varying degrees but pretty much every day since March 13, and I spend a good part of my mental and emotional energy trying to find both causes and solutions.<br />
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I’ve stopped drinking caffeinated beverages (let me tell you mint tisane in the morning is nowhere near as satisfying as an espresso!), I’ve tried both exercising less and exercising more (I started running again – short distances – two weeks ago and it seems to help or at least not harm) and I spend less time on social media. I also make conscious efforts to have significant down time every day. <br />
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I know for some people the challenge in isolation is to find things to do. But in my case, I am far from isolated: I’m not in quarantine so I get out to run or walk every day, I live with three other family members and several animals so there is plenty of life and interaction to be had in my daily life. We grocery shop for my parents and my uncle, which takes up a day a week and allows us to see them, too – briefly and from a couple of metres away, of course – and I speak to friends by phone, email and videoconference. Wolf, my partner, and I teach some classes online so we still see some of the community we miss, albeit not in the flesh.<br />
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I don’t lack for projects. As I said, we’ve been teaching a little, and it takes up time to prepare, organize and teach classes in this new way. (I definitely prefer real-life teaching to onscreen!) I also DJ online once a week, which meant installing, setting up and learning a new DJing program. And at home there’s plenty of cleaning to do and lots of mouths to feed and cook for, not to mention rooms we’d like to repaint and other fun stuff like income taxes.<br />
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I’ve been meaning to use this newfound “free time” to start writing seriously, but this rambling blog post is my first serious attempt. My mind has felt full and kind of jumbled through these weeks so it’s been hard to find the mental space to gather ideas and get creative. So usually I watch Netflix when I don’t have the energy to do anything else.<br />
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All this to say, boredom and confinement are not likely the underlying roots of my breathing issues.<br />
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This morning as I walked the dog I thought that maybe my inability to find balance is the problem. As a small-business owner of course my work/life scale is always heavier on the work side, but that imbalance is balanced by the fact that I am passionate about what I do and get great pleasure from most aspects of my work. The thing is, I am so used to being 10 times busier than I am now, to knowing I will finish every day with an even longer to-do list, to having an extreme, driving sense of purpose every single day, that I think I don’t know how to both slow down and retain my sense of purpose. I give myself permission to take a break on Sundays: no projects, no media. But on Monday, the tightness in my chest is as bad as ever.<br />
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Then, of course, there’s the persistence of this laboured breathing that in itself makes me anxious. At first I couldn’t help but think: “Maybe I have COVID-19!” Silly, really, and I knew it – no other signs of illness, I’ve felt like this before and it’s gone on too long – but whose mind is rational when lying awake at 3 a.m.? Mostly, though, it’s just hard to relax and enjoy my newfound free time when I’m constantly making an effort to either breathe properly or ignore the fact that I can’t. <br />
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I know the uncertainty about the future is weighing heavily on me (classic anxiety definition, I guess). I wonder when and how an activity like tango will be able to resume. Our type of business will most certainly be among the last to reopen and when it does, will things pick up where they left off? Will dancers embrace or fear the <i>abrazos</i> they so miss? Will society come out of this more reluctant to get close to strangers? Will an economic downturn mean people have less money to spend on things like tango lessons and milongas?<br />
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And while I understand that this is as new and difficult for our leaders as it is for us (and overall they’re doing a good job), I have found some of the vague and conflicting information we receive from them frustrating. Last week, our provincial and federal leaders both gave forward-looking speeches that, in my opinion, were full of contradictions: Normal life will not return until after Christmas (i.e. until there’s a vaccine), one said, but some things will return to normal! Okay, well that’s clear. Here in Quebec, we are about to reach our peak, the other said. This is considered good news, and so we will soon be able to reopen businesses – as long as we keep respecting the two-metre rule. What businesses, then? Certainly not tango. Or gyms. Or hair salons. Or bars. And how can we be thinking of reopening businesses soon when the number of confirmed cases in this province is 700 times higher than it was when businesses closed? And what about schools? My teenage daughter is home from school, supposedly until May 1. I cannot imagine schools will reopen in two weeks, but we haven’t had a peep from either our governments or the educational institutions since they closed. Will classes resume this school year or not? If kids can’t go to school, tangueros sure can’t go to tango school.<br />
<br />
So yes, the future feels very unsure and yes, that bothers me. But intellectually I’m actually not <i>that</i> worried. I have confidence we – my family, my business and my country – will pull through, even if we don’t know exactly when or how just yet. So I don’t know if taking in the uncertainty is what’s limiting my ability to inhale.<br />
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What does all this teach us – or me – about tango? Well, first of all, it reminds me of the healing properties of tango. I’ve written about some of them before, notably in <a href="https://lifeisatango.blogspot.com/2018/02/meditango.html" target="_blank">my post comparing tango to meditation</a>, and I once gave a conference on tango for stress relief. In short, one of the things that draws me to tango is the fact it’s one of the few activities in which I can truly let go. When the music and the connection are just right it takes no effort to just abandon myself and let all my worries evaporate. It is wonderful – and wonderfully therapeutic.<br />
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These days, no matter how much I might relax I am always able to think and to remain aware of the fact I can’t breathe with ease. Yoga should help, and I do it every single day, but the problem is, in yoga we are focused on our breath most of the time, so while I can and do work on my breathing in many different ways, I remain aware of the struggle. Some distractions help: an intense episode of “La Casa de Papel,” a satisfying teaching session and a good night’s sleep all offer temporary relief, but nothing quite removes me from day to day realities and stress factors the way a great dance does.<br />
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And back to the idea of balance – or my current lack thereof – well, while balance is an essential ingredient in tango, tango is clearly an essential ingredient for balance in my life. <br />
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<b>Postscript: </b>Now that I’m writing again, I am reminded of its therapeutic powers: I have been working on this post for three days and since yesterday I am breathing easier. Could these two things be related?<br />
<br />
<b>Related articles:</b><br />
<div>
<a href="https://lifeisatango.blogspot.com/2017/09/twenty-tango-lessons-part-11-learning.html" target="_blank">Learning to let go of the plan</a><br />
<a href="https://lifeisatango.blogspot.com/2018/02/meditango.html" target="_blank">Meditango</a></div>
Andrea Shepherdhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00215588849281040364noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6070854769893113410.post-47315459925115815812020-03-30T21:00:00.001-04:002020-04-16T15:00:05.564-04:00Teacher vs. dancer<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPnVNER3sWF5GU5dQDsg2HeJB4XaeCaB2xbE2RafVTjiWO7ljlL6UeurmDp-wj-ylrr7nlD09hxzjr_PkgwXvFAyANAKQr8LTT9HcQMV1a5cB1uq0Lk5Ek6qI97bhl6MubcA2alc249LIX/s1600/TeacherDancerHats.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="1600" height="160" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPnVNER3sWF5GU5dQDsg2HeJB4XaeCaB2xbE2RafVTjiWO7ljlL6UeurmDp-wj-ylrr7nlD09hxzjr_PkgwXvFAyANAKQr8LTT9HcQMV1a5cB1uq0Lk5Ek6qI97bhl6MubcA2alc249LIX/s320/TeacherDancerHats.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">It's really important to distinguish between these two "hats" or roles.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<a href="https://lavieestuntango.blogspot.com/2020/04/professeur-ou-danseur.html" target="_blank">Lire en français.</a><br />
<br />
Recently I had an interesting exchange with a student in a class I was teaching. He is someone I dance socially with quite often. As he is not a regular student of mine, I had rarely danced with him in a teacher-student situation before.<br />
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He had asked me a question about why the move he was learning was not working to his satisfaction, so I got him to try it with me. At some point I felt the moment where his lead needed some improvement, so I resisted a little, stopped him and asked him to try it again, suggesting a correction or two. He looked at me somewhat taken aback and said, "But you're normally much easier to lead than that! That's not what it usually feels like to dance with you."<br />
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"That's because I'm not usually wearing my teacher hat when I dance with you," I replied. <br />
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As these things do, the exchange stayed with me and got me thinking.<br />
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What I said to him was very true: When I am wearing my teacher hat, I am focused on improving the quality of the other person's dancing. When I am wearing my dancer hat, I am focused on the quality of my own dancing. I think it's really important to respect that dividing line.<br />
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When I am, for example, teaching a private lesson, I do my absolute best not to compensate for my leader or follower's flaws but to pinpoint them and find ways to correct them. But when I am dancing in a milonga I do the exact opposite. I, in fact, pay little attention to my partner's shortcomings, purposely ignoring the most blatant ones and not even noticing the minor ones as I concentrate instead on just being the best follower (or leader, as the case may be) I can be, enjoying my partner's best qualities, the music and the moment.<br />
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Why do I think it's important to distinguish between the two "hats?" Because the primary goal of dancing socially is enjoyment and connection. If I start focusing on my partners' flaws I will necessarily diminish my own enjoyment as well as that of my partner. And I will also break the connection between us every time I begin to speak. The partner in my arms in a milonga is not there to receive instruction, whether he or she is my student or even knows I'm a teacher or not.<br />
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In a class there might be moments when I let go for a couple of minutes and just dance and enjoy – an overall good sign for the student I am dancing with – but "relax and enjoy" are not my primary goals in that situation. My objective, and the reason the other person is paying me, is to pinpoint their mistakes and help them find ways to fix them. That is my job. It takes a lot of focus, concentration and energy, both mental and physical, to teach, especially private lessons. While it is incredibly rewarding work, why would I want to do that job in my leisure time, during moments when I am allowed to just let go and have fun?<br />
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That's why I might feel different to dance with when I'm just dancing than when I'm teaching and that's why only teachers should teach – but never in a milonga.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Related post:</div>
<div>
<a href="https://lifeisatango.blogspot.com/2014/10/no-teaching-on-dance-floor.html" target="_blank">No teaching on the dance floor</a></div>
Andrea Shepherdhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00215588849281040364noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6070854769893113410.post-48253725276755474912020-03-18T18:06:00.001-04:002020-03-18T18:09:36.445-04:00A message of thanks to the community<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifLxpb8_t0h7cf3IejknCEAKE9U6JwozxBC7VWZD6wlMabBG1VhLlCK7VJk8MSQ-ompHqt3DBb5mzAyXR_7uzYS0cFfY0VLLKwdUZfUcynZvTwR3xuBqnU_gmHZhg-pcy-QvLcK-5FkdY/s1600/ThankyouHug.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="689" data-original-width="918" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifLxpb8_t0h7cf3IejknCEAKE9U6JwozxBC7VWZD6wlMabBG1VhLlCK7VJk8MSQ-ompHqt3DBb5mzAyXR_7uzYS0cFfY0VLLKwdUZfUcynZvTwR3xuBqnU_gmHZhg-pcy-QvLcK-5FkdY/s400/ThankyouHug.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Thank you for your collective hug of support.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<a href="https://lavieestuntango.blogspot.com/2020/03/un-message-de-remerciement-la-communaute.html" target="_blank">Lire en français</a><br />
<br />
In these difficult times, the tango community has shown itself to be just that: a true community.<br />
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<div>
Here in Montreal, tango activities, along with every other social activity, have been shut down over the last few days in line with our government's social distancing orders and recommendations to help slow the spread of the COVID-19 coronavirus that is taking over and turning over our lives. We, of course, are not alone. Countless cities around the world preceded us and others will follow.</div>
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This has resulted in putting all the tango teachers out of work and we're pretty nervous about our financial survival, not to mention our fears over the virus itself. Most of us don't make oodles of money to begin with, so we're not sitting on months or even weeks worth of savings. For tango school owners (like my partner and me) who have a permanent space, the situation is even scarier, because, in addition to our personal living and housing expenses we have to keep paying our commercial rent and expenses every month.</div>
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There are people who think our work is just a fun hobby for us. Indeed we are lucky enough to dedicate ourselves full time to our great passion and our work is often a lot of fun. I get to dance and socialize every day and I absolutely love teaching and DJing and hosting milongas. But I work every weekend and most evenings, the constant physical work means I'm always battling some injury or other and then there are all the behind-the-scenes parts of the job that are less fun: the finances, data entry, constant marketing and publicity, non-stop checking and answering of emails and phone messages, scheduling, managing the partner balance (and compatibility!) in classes, keeping the space clean, stocked and in good repair and the list goes on. Hey, it's a job and not even <a href="https://lifeisatango.blogspot.com/2017/12/twenty-tango-lessons-part-20-greatest.html" target="_blank">the best job in the world</a> is all fun and games. There are times when my partner and I think people have no idea how hard we work, how many unpaid hours we put in and how financially challenging it is to run a school. But, in fact, many people do have an idea. Some students thank us and voice their appreciation or recognition regularly and some make it clear simply by making a conscious, continued effort to support and attend our classes and activities. </div>
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And now, when we need their support the most, when we have no clue how many weeks or months we might have to tough this out, we are being blown away by just how much the community is showing that it cares about, appreciates and wants to support us. The "us" I refer to now extends beyond me, my partner and my school to all the tango teachers and schools, because we are united in our struggle and have in fact been reaching out to each other for moral support and advice.</div>
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Dancers have sent so many messages of support, have prepaid lessons to be taken "post-apocalypse," have donated funds and rallied to encourage others to make donations to the schools so we can survive this period of unemployment and business shutdowns. Whether small or large, every donation has inched <a href="http://www.montango.ca/english/index.php" target="_blank">MonTango</a>, our school, toward a longer survival period, but more than that, each one has left us feeling loved, supported and incredibly thankful. </div>
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Six days ago (it feels like much longer already), when there were still just a handful of COVID-19 cases in our city and the government had not yet enacted emergency measures, we put out a message saying we were not ready to close our doors but would follow government directives closely and make changes as necessary. The very next day, as the number of cases jumped and large events were cancelled one by one we <a href="https://lifeisatango.blogspot.com/2020/03/tango-in-time-of-coronavirus.html" target="_blank">put out a new message</a> announcing we were shutting our doors after all, effective immediately. In the interim, many dancers and students had sent messages of support, encouragement and understanding, making it clear they could see our dilemma and respected our decision to stay open, but there were also a few who were not so kind, who publicly condemned us and others like us for being so selfish as to worry about such trivialities as bankruptcy or feeding our families. When we read those messages we felt hurt and insulted and stopped feeling the love for a short time, but then, as always, we soon saw how much the kind and empathetic outnumbered the judgemental. In any case, within 24 hours we had decided to close anyway and in yet another 24 hours businesses like ours were being ordered to shut their doors.</div>
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Through all of this, overall, the tango dancers around us have shown themselves to be warm, caring, thoughtful and community-minded, leaving us feeling humbled and hopeful. And all while you are living your own fears and challenges because of this outbreak.</div>
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I thank you, my wonderful tango community, for the big, huge hug of support you have collectively offered to your teachers and organizers and I hope it's not too long before I can once again share some real abrazos with you.</div>
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Stay healthy meanwhile.</div>
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Andrea Shepherdhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00215588849281040364noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6070854769893113410.post-46127099302887392322020-03-11T18:01:00.004-04:002020-03-12T16:45:58.466-04:00(No more) tango in the time of coronavirus<div class="comp mntl-sc-block mntl-sc-block-html" id="mntl-sc-block_1-0" style="background-position: 0px 0px; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; counter-reset: section 0; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<a href="https://lavieestuntango.blogspot.com/2020/03/le-tango-au-temps-du-coronavirus.html" target="_blank">Lire en français</a><br />
<br />
<b>Updated on Thursday, March 12, 2020</b><br />
<br />
Yesterday, we promised we would evolve with the coronavirus situation, and it didn't take long for us to have to do so.<br />
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MonTango has decided to suspend all group classes, practices and milongas starting today, Thursday, March 12. We will reassess in a week and keep everyone informed.<br />
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Some of you will rejoice, some will say we are jumping the gun. While even we feel this decision may be premature, we prefer to err on the side of caution.<br />
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The factors that led us to this decision, quite different from the one we announced yesterday, include:<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>The almost 50% increase in cases in the province of Quebec since yesterday, from 9 to 13 overnight.</li>
<li>The cancellation of our local St. Patrick's Day Parade, not to mention the cancelled sporting events and concerts all over North America.</li>
<li>The emergency measures announced today by Quebec Premier François Legault including ordering that all travellers and sick people quarantine themselves for two weeks and that events involving more than 250 people be cancelled.</li>
<li>The fact Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau is in self-quarantine, because his wife came home unwell from a trip abroad. (We do not yet know if either of them have COVID-19.)</li>
<li>The cancellation yesterday of all milongas in Buenos Aires for two weeks. That city has a comparable number of COVID-19 cases to ours.</li>
<li>The decision by one of the few other full-time tango schools in Montreal to cancel their events for two weeks. (We have been in discussion since yesterday and definitely feel we should be united in this decision.)</li>
</ul>
<br />
We will reassess the situation on a week-to-week basis and keep our students and members informed as to start dates for the spring session and the restarting of weekend activities.<br />
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This was an extremely difficult decision to make, but we feel it is the right one.<br />
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Once again, stay healthy, everyone.<br />
<br />
------<br />
<br />
Original post:<br />
<br />
<b>Tango in the time of coronavirus</b><br />
<br />
Today, on March 11, 2020, the World Health Organization officially classified the novel coronavirus COVID-19 a global pandemic.<br />
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The tango community (indeed any social dance community) is a perfect potential breeding ground for such a contagious virus. Tango dancers spend an awful lot of time wrapped in the arms of person after person, holding hands, rubbing cheeks and exchanging sweat and probably even saliva particles. Not to mention all those surfaces in the milongas that have been touched by so many, from doorknobs to table tops, chairs and faucets. <br />
<br />
Everyone is talking about this virus and many are asking us what we as organizers are doing about it. I am not the first tango organizer to publish my thoughts and recommendations on the outbreak, but as a teacher and milonga organizer who facilitates large gatherings of people with lots of physical contact, I feel it is my duty to speak out and share both what I know, what I recommend and what measures my partner and I as studio owners will take to protect people.<br />
<br />
<b><u>First: What does it mean that COVID-19 is now considered a pandemic?</u></b><br />
<b>Epidemic</b> refers to a sudden increase in the number of cases of a disease that is actively spreading, affecting an exceptionally high proportion of the population. <br />
<br />
<b>Pandemic</b> refers to the geographic spread of a disease. A pandemic is an epidemic that has crossed borders, spreading over several countries or continents, also usually affecting an especially large number of people.<br />
<br />
<b><u>Here are the WHO's recommendations for slowing the spread of the disease (stopping it is no longer deemed possible):</u></b><br />
<ul>
<li>Wash your hands frequently with soap and water or, if not available, use an alcohol-based hand sanitizer.</li>
<li>If you sneeze or cough, cover your mouth with a disposable tissue. If not available, use your elbow.</li>
<li>Avoid contact with anyone displaying symptoms of fever or cough.</li>
<li>Avoid touching your face with unwashed hands.</li>
<li>If you have fever, cough and difficulty breathing, seek medical care, but call before you head to a clinic or emergency room. (The number to call in Quebec is Info-Santé at 8-1-1.)</li>
</ul>
<b><u>In the context of the tango community, those recommendations would translate to:</u></b><br />
<ul>
<li>Wash or sanitize your hands thoroughly before and after every lesson and every tanda.</li>
<li>If you are experiencing any cold or flu symptoms, don't take a chance with other people's health: Stay home.</li>
<li>If you recently travelled to such highly affected areas as China, Iran, Italy or South Korea, stay away from classes and milongas for two full weeks.</li>
</ul>
</div>
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<b><u>What we at MonTango as milonga organizers will do:</u></b><br />
<ul>
<li>Provide soap and hand sanitizer. This is not new! We have always kept our bathrooms clean and provided hand soap as well as sanitizer. (Several people have written to ask if I have "considered" providing hand sanitizer, but for years we have kept a bottle of it right next to our water station. We will probably add a couple more bottles now, such as at the welcome table and around the dance floor.)</li>
<li>We ask you, our dancers, to stay home if you are sick and we will do the same. This may eventually mean cancelled lessons or classes taught by one rather than two instructors, but lowering all risk of transmission must, of course, be our priority.</li>
<li>Cancel events if it becomes necessary. Here in Quebec, as of today there are only 8 known cases of COVID-19 and as far as we know there have been no cases of it in our tango milieu. At this time we do not feel it is necessary to cancel our classes or milongas, but if official recommendations to the contrary come out, of if we suddenly feel it would be the right course of action, we will absolutely do so. </li>
</ul>
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Luckily for us we are living a very different reality from many dancers in Europe, Asia and even the United States. The virus has not yet hit our tango community and in fact has barely touched our city.</div>
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<br />
Today, we are counting ourselves lucky and, again, my partner and I don't yet feel that drastic measures are necessary. But with this virus, things could change by next week … or perhaps even tomorrow. We will keep ourselves up to date and as the official recommendations change, so will our response. If schools and public gatherings are closed, our milonga will close as well. <br />
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This is a scary time for businesses like ours. With expensive rent to pay every month, a few weeks without tango activities could have dire consequences for us and the other schools like ours. But the community's health comes first, of course. <br />
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It is hard to know what to do and whom to believe with so much different information out there and so many sharing their opinions and advice. Paranoia, fear-mongering and conspiracy theories abound, distract and annoy the heck out of me, but this disease is a very real threat and we assure you that we are taking it seriously.<br />
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I wish you all good health and will keep you posted as things change.</div>
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<b><u>Further reading:</u></b><br />
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Other tango professionals I have read on the topic include Carol Horowitz, a fellow Montreal tango school owner whose very sensible recommendations <a href="https://www.facebook.com/notes/carol-a-horowitz/le-tango-et-les-infections-tango-and-infection-control/10159529074644922/">you can read here</a> and Alex Apetrei, a dancer from Zurich, Switzerland, who published a <a href="https://www.facebook.com/notes/alex-apetrei/tango-covid-19-and-an-argumented-call-to-stop-all-milongas-globally/3063642030313368/">call to stop all milongas globally</a> (while well-researched, I considered his recommendation somewhat alarmist, though I admittedly have a different perspective over on this side of the pond).</div>
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<a href="https://www.quebec.ca/en/health/health-issues/a-z/2019-coronavirus/">Here is a link to up-to-date coronavirus information from the Quebec government.</a></div>
Andrea Shepherdhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00215588849281040364noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6070854769893113410.post-42371197812230159542019-11-13T20:22:00.003-05:002019-11-13T20:22:48.326-05:00Top five behaviours to avoid<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg53dZ8PU_ElYXtoEKcxWvI9iuG9spxKMpIYoq9wqK0BZPoAAw-y6WxvHhfY289Zpd3Ej1J8irtqcupRAZ5D4txgsy0PbZQrwMQzWQNLoR25hywl8sfdYIyYGVWkoKnWKzsYwOCpy0o9AAk/s1600/bad-breath-advice.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="746" data-original-width="1200" height="393" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg53dZ8PU_ElYXtoEKcxWvI9iuG9spxKMpIYoq9wqK0BZPoAAw-y6WxvHhfY289Zpd3Ej1J8irtqcupRAZ5D4txgsy0PbZQrwMQzWQNLoR25hywl8sfdYIyYGVWkoKnWKzsYwOCpy0o9AAk/s640/bad-breath-advice.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Your unsolicited dance tips are even less welcome when they're accompanied by a big whiff of your dinner.</td></tr>
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I think it is safe to say that most social tango dancers want to be in demand. We dance because we love to dance, but it does take two to tango, so we are generally happier when other people want to dance with us and we can thus have more dances. Even if we are the quality-over-quantity type, preferring to dance a few high-level, carefully selected <i>tandas</i> than to dance every single one with anyone and everyone, we feel best when we know the partners we do dance with have enjoyed themselves and are likely to come back for more.</div>
<br />Tango is a shared experience so it makes sense to care as much about the experience of the other as about our own. In short, we should want to be a pleasure to dance with.<br /><br />There are specific things that make us enjoyable to tango with, making our partners return to us and maybe even spread the word: Solid lead-follow skills, a comfortable embrace, great musicality, nice posture, a sense of fun and an overall way of making our partners feel good about their dancing would top many a list.<br /><br />And there are definitely specific things that can make us less enjoyable to dance with, things that go beyond our technique and vocabulary. As a teacher and an organizer, I get a lot of feedback from and about the dancers in my community, both positive and negative. In terms of negative feedback, the same complaints come back over and over again, session after session, milonga after milonga, year after year.<br /><br />If we want to count ourselves among the pleasant, enjoyable, in-demand dancers, we should certainly continue to hone our dancing abilities but we might also want to avoid certain unpleasant and widely unappreciated behaviours.<br /><br />Here are the top five behaviours dancers complain about (thus ones we all ought to avoid):<br /><br /><b>1. Teaching on the dance floor.</b> Here it is again. It's the Number One complaint and my personal Number One pet peeve, yet it remains rampant. Believe me when I say the teachy partners in a community are notorious. Beginners may put up with this behaviour for a while, but nobody likes it and it will eventually make you the talk of the town and not in a good way. Have you ever said to someone during a tanda, "Can I offer you some tips/advice?" That is teaching on the dance floor. Do you often find yourself readjusting your partners' embraces during a dance? That is teaching on the dance floor. Do you stop to explain the move your partner didn't execute as planned? That is teaching on the dance floor. Do you find yourself saying to the teachers during class, "Can you explain to my partner how to improve his or her posture/embrace/technique?" That, too, is basically teaching on the dance floor in disguise. Have you ever had several couples pass you on the dance floor while you were stopped in conversation? Were you teaching? No? Good. But you shouldn't have been stopped in conversation either. Unless you are actually a tango teacher and are at that moment being paid to teach someone, just stop trying to fix everyone else's dancing and worry about your own. Even better, immerse yourself in the moment, listen to the music, accept the dancer in your arms as-is and save the conversation for when the music stops. <br /><br /><b>2. Unpleasant odours. </b>This is an awkward one. It's hard to tell someone he or she has bad breath or smelly armpits. But it's also hard to dance with someone who has very bad breath or smelly armpits. And this is tied for first place among issues we as teachers get the most complaints about from students. No one wants to partner change to the guy breathing his morning and after-dinner breath combined into their faces, and everyone feels uncomfortable when it feels like they've just become the carrier of their previous partner's BO. Sure some tolerance is in order. Anyone can come to class one night after a long work day or a difficult-to-mask garlicky dinner, but I'm talking about the people with that perpetually stale smell emanating from their mouths/bodies/clothes. I know some people are more sensitive to smell than others and we don't always smell ourselves the way others might, but this is a close-contact-with-tons-of-different-people dance. In the hygiene and odour department we should all err on the side of caution.<br /><br />There are three main hygiene/smell issues that come up, and some pretty easy solutions for all of them:<br /><ol>
<li><b>Breath.</b> We all need to eat and can't necessarily brush our teeth every time we put food in our mouths. But brushing after meals and flossing every day go a long way toward keeping your breath bearable. Then, when you're going to be in close contact with people like you are in tango, have a supply of gum, mints or other breath fresheners handy. Also, do not mouth-breathe when dancing: Breathe through your nose. And finally, just in case, don't talk and dance. As previously stated, it's bad enough manners to share your unsolicited advice during a tanda, but if that advice is combined with a big whiff of your evening meal it's only that much worse. Keep your mouth closed while you dance and your partner will never know you had garlic bread with dinner.</li>
<li><b>Body odours.</b> Dance for three hours in close contact with dozens or hundreds of other dancers and you will get hot and sweaty, guaranteed. And then you will share your hot sweatiness with other hot, sweaty people. So please shower before you go out and always wear freshly laundered clothes. Moisture brings out all sorts of buried aromas, so make sure whatever you're wearing smells good wet and dry. And wear deodorant. Good deodorant. Always. This being said, try not to over-compensate by overdosing on your favourite scent. Some people are sensitive or even allergic to perfume and we teachers get a lot of negative feedback about heavy-perfume wearers, too. (Also, please, please, please wash your hands after you go to the bathroom! I have witnessed not one but several milonga-goers – men and women – not doing this, which I find inconsiderate and outright gross.)</li>
<li><b>Sweat. </b>As asserted above, you will no doubt sweat while you are dancing. If you sweat more than the average person, you can plan ahead and bring an extra supply of shirts to change into during the night. I know a few dancers who do this, and it is very much appreciated by their partners. If you run out of dry clothes, but you still really want a tanda with one of your favourite dancers, try offering the option of open embrace.</li>
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<b>3. Rude invitations. </b>There is good reason <i>cabeceo</i> has become king in recent years. The non-verbal <i>mirada-cabeceo</i> invitation method is a mutual-agreement system that evens the playing field. Like the dance itself, it's not always easy to learn and master this part of the game, but it really helps to avoid awkward situations. In my opinion it's still OK to ask verbally sometimes, like when you're already in conversation with someone or when you want to dance with a friend or regular partner who you know enjoys dancing with you. But inviting verbally puts the invitee on the spot, so if you are going to ask outright, you should be prepared to gracefully accept an outright refusal. Remember that the dance is about the enjoyment of both partners, not just yours, so it's just as important that your partner want to dance with you as vice versa. If you are going to walk over and ask verbally, choose a moment when the person at least looks like he or she wants to dance. Not, for example when he or she is in the middle of an intense tête-à-tête with someone else. Tango is very much about reading body language, so we should be in tune to each other's both on and off the dance floor. In any case, try to avoid what a colleague of mine once referred to as the "grabeceo," i.e. grabbing a dancer by the wrist or hand and just pulling her toward the dance floor. Also avoid inflicting "shotgun" tandas on people. You know, the ones where she just walks up to you and says, "You have to dance with me tonight." This is frequently done by intermediate-level dancers who always want to dance with much more advanced partners. Students do it to my male teaching colleagues quite a bit, and the guys really don't appreciate being put on the spot like that. If thy aren't in the mood for the dance it puts them in the position of being "nice" and dancing what is unfortunately known as a "pity tanda" or else feeling or appearing mean by refusing the person – who might very well resent them for it. It's a no-win situation that leads me to the next complaint on my list:<br /><br /><b>4. Rude refusals. </b>Some people are new to the tango social scene. Some people are shy or socially awkward. Some people might be visiting from a community where mirada-cabeceo is not widely used. There are tons of reasons why you might get an invitation you didn't really want in a way you didn't really like. But there are ways to refuse a dance without being rude or mean or making the other party feel small or stupid. "Not right now, thank you," is kinder than a cold, flat-out "No," for instance. Or if you want to make the point that you strictly adhere to the cabeceo system, you can explain it: "I would be happy to dance with you a little later, so I'll look for your mirada/cabeceo in a couple of tandas." No one should feel obliged to dance with people they dislike dancing with, but there's no reason to be snobby, hurtful or mean when you turn someone down. People can get really crushed by cruel rejection and I've known more than one to go home in tears after a rude refusal or otherwise insensitive comment. There's always a way to be kind, even to those you perceive as unworthy of a dance with you.<br /><br /><b>5. Bad floor craft. </b>There are dancers who outright bash into other couples without a second look; those who stay on the spot when the traffic ahead has advanced half a kilometre; those who manage not to actually have accidents but take up way, way, way more than their share of space on the floor; the lane-to-lane zigzaggers; the circus acrobats; the couple stuck in 2005's nuevo craze; the back-stepping addicts and, of course, the talkers and "advice" givers. I often think we should stop referring to tango as a couple dance and put much more emphasis on the fact it's a <i>social</i> dance. Learning to follow the <i>ronda,</i> stay in your lane and make decisions about what moves to execute based as much on what's happening around you as on the music or your in-the-moment whim are an integral part of tango. I think many teachers could emphasize these points much more, underlining their importance and making them part of the overall learning process. (It's like learning to drive; you need to learn to operate the vehicle, but it's equally important to know how to navigate in traffic and obey the rules of the road.) However, part of this boils down to individual personality. In our classes, my partner and I are forever reminding students to stay in their lane and not cut in front of each other, but there are always a couple of incessant speeders or zigzaggers who consistently ignore our instructions and cut around whoever is in front of them no matter how many times we tell them not to.<br /><br />All this being said, people make mistakes. We need to accept and even embrace the fact that we are all human and therefore flawed. Sometimes an invitation will be awkward or a dance will be sweatier or chattier than we might like. If it's the exception and not the rule, try to move past it and don't be too harsh or judgemental. <br /><br />But if you're not getting the dances you might like, look not only at your skills but also at your behaviour and even your hygiene. You will shine so much brighter as a dancer if you polish the whole package.<br /><br /><b>Related articles:</b><br /><a href="https://lifeisatango.blogspot.com/2017/10/twenty-tango-lessons-part-13-milonga.html" target="_blank">Codes of conduct to follow</a><div>
<a href="https://lifeisatango.blogspot.com/2017/10/twenty-tango-lessons-part-14-be-kind.html" target="_blank">Be kind</a><br /><div>
<a href="https://lifeisatango.blogspot.com/2014/10/no-teaching-on-dance-floor.html" target="_blank">No teaching on the dance floor</a><br /> </div>
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Andrea Shepherdhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00215588849281040364noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6070854769893113410.post-57471445122467109002019-08-28T13:49:00.000-04:002019-08-29T20:44:46.066-04:00I'd like to teach the world to dance in perfect harmony<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
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Photo @Blanche</div>
Walk into a milonga and you know you share a passion with everyone there. Dance a tanda and share a piece of yourself.</td></tr>
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The world might be a better place if we all danced tango.<br />
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Recently I was teaching a private lesson to a beginner leader and after some explanation or other about the lead-follow exchange he exclaimed: "This is like anti-selfishness therapy!"<br />
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I laughed out loud, because it was a rare and surprising thing for a beginner to say, but also because it was so insightful and true.<br />
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In the past I have written posts about the importance of being <a href="https://lifeisatango.blogspot.com/2015/10/its-nice-to-be-important-but-its-more.html">nice</a>, <a href="https://lifeisatango.blogspot.com/2017/10/twenty-tango-lessons-part-14-be-kind.html">kind</a> and <a href="https://lifeisatango.blogspot.com/2015/05/eight-personality-traits-that-will-make.html">generous</a>. Besides essentials like good posture, strong technique and a nice sense of rhythm, learning to put one's partner first is an essential part of becoming a skilled dancer.<br />
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A selfish person is concerned excessively with him or herself and disregards the well-being of others. Selfish dancers, then, would be those who are more interested in impressing their partners and everyone else in the room with their big moves and fancy footwork than making sure their partners can keep up with them, all regardless of how much space they are taking up on the dance floor. While to the untrained eye they might seem cool at first, they are not really much fun to dance with and tend to annoy the other dancers on the floor.<br />
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Look up antonyms for "selfish" in the dictionary and you find words like "considerate," "generous" and "sharing." Considerate, generous dancers are those who put their partners first, dancing to their level with a caring embrace and respectful attention to traffic and flow. They are the ones who are a true joy to dance with because they care about showing their partners a good time rather than just showing off. And it's pretty hard to dance tango without sharing. Walk into any milonga and you already know you share a passion with everyone else in the room. Dance a tanda with someone and you inevitably share a piece of yourself.<br />
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I regularly feel that the world could use an injection of kindness. In the news and on social media I see the despicable behaviour of boastful, boorish leaders who seem to be taking office everywhere I look while anti-immigrant, overall anti-"other" sentiment is once again on the rise.<br />
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Meanwhile on the tango dance floor I continue to encounter a wonderful mix of interesting people and fun dancers. As we embrace each other on the floor one after another we mostly don't know or care where the person comes from or what their religion or politics are. Tango connects us to something in each other that is deeper than our thoughts or beliefs, rendering them irrelevant at least for the time we hold our <i>abrazo</i>, sharing our passion and a part of ourselves.<br />
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I realize how lucky I am that every time a newscast or my Facebook feed makes me feel disillusioned with the state of humanity and the world today a tango lesson or milonga is my daily antidote.<br />
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Tango makes us analyze and discover ourselves while making us hyper-aware of the experience of the person right in front of us and how every one of our actions, no matter how small, has an effect on them. And if we want to be "good" tango dancers, we have to try to make that effect as positive and enjoyable as possible.<br />
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So indeed, a tango lesson can very much double as a therapeutic session in unselfishness, while every tango encounter on or off the dance floor is a reminder of the pleasure and importance of flesh-and-blood human contact.</div>
Andrea Shepherdhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00215588849281040364noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6070854769893113410.post-72321851794545082392019-03-05T15:24:00.000-05:002019-03-05T15:24:15.846-05:00That pesky comfort zone<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">There's no escaping the fact that to break free from that rut <br />you will need to put in some hours of hard work.</td></tr>
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In recent months, the subject of the tango "comfort zone" has come up repeatedly in conversation. And not necessarily in a positive context.<br /><br />A comfort zone is a normal and in many ways good thing in tango, but when "comfort zone" becomes "rut" it's not so great. <br /><br />When you dance tango, for sure there will be times when you feel stuck in your comfort zone, or rut. No matter your level or years of experience, there will be moments when you feel elegant, confident and in command of your body and other moments when you feel clumsy, heavy and awkward. This is all normal, and some of it is probably in your own mind. Sometimes on days I feel are my worst, when my feet feel klutzy and I'm not able to read any of my partners the way I usually do, I will receive compliments – both from my partners and observers. And when I feel great – connected to everyone and fully in my body – no one says a word, but it doesn't matter because I <i>feel</i> good.<br /><br />My point is that while day-to-day ups and downs are a normal part of the never-ending tango learning process, sometimes we get stuck in a long-lasting rut that dampens our overall enjoyment of the dance and might even lead us to question whether we should continue at all.<br /><br />I remember recent conversations with three people – two men and a woman – who came to me concerned about being stuck or bored or unsure of how to further their progress. <br /><br />One was struck when he travelled abroad to a city where the overall level of dancers is known to be very high and found himself surrounded by men whose posture, floor craft and especially musicality blew him away. He said he was consequently mostly ignored by any potential partners. He expressed his frustration and in fact he was the one to use the term "comfort zone," knowing full well that he has been in his for too long. This is a dancer who I, personally, enjoy dancing with, who has a nice embrace, an easy-to-follow lead and a good sense of rhythm. With a little work and some direction he could easily get out of his rut, but he has a busy life and his time is limited, so for now he chooses to dance in the milongas and leave study and advancement for later. <br /><br />The second man came to me for private lessons because he was getting bored with tango after many years, and a friend gave him some very good advice. She told him he was in a rut and could use some private lessons. Both he and I agreed. I believe the couple of lessons he took with me helped him, at least in the short term, but I would have liked to see him continue for longer, paying more attention to detail and really going back to square one to review his basics, an idea to which many people have an aversion either because they fear it will be boring (it isn't!) or because their egos get in the way ("I already know how to do ochos.").<br /><br />The third person was a woman who wrote to me for suggestions as to where to go from here. She has done the basic group levels and wants to improve her technique – a great sign. So I suggested three options for her, two of which she was enthusiastic about, but then she never showed up. Perhaps she got sick or her budget was too tight or life otherwise got in the way. It happens to us all, but I was disappointed she didn't follow through on her promising plan.<br /><br />First off, it's important to note that a comfort zone is a fully normal and by no means entirely bad thing. As we continue to study tango and expand our repertoire, some movements and sequences work for us more than others. <br /><br />For leaders, some figures are more useful for navigating the dance floor and some come easier to our bodies than others, so we use them more. Novice leaders attending their first milongas often express frustration at not being able to use all their moves on the floor. What they need to know is that no leader uses all his moves in a single song, tanda or even a whole evening. Leaders have a comfort zone of steps they can lead and execute without thinking too much, and that is the zone in which they can and should dance in a milonga setting, because the large part of their brain power is inevitably and necessarily being used to navigate the floor, gauge their partner's reactions and play with the music. Leaders' "comfort-zone" or milonga-dancing repertoire will always expand more slowly than their overall repertoire.<br /><br />For followers the "comfort zone" manifests itself in our technique. Perhaps there are movements we continue to struggle with and execute awkwardly month after month, year after year, for example backward pivots or <i>giros</i>. Or perhaps we never learned to master our musicality, so musical leaders figure out quickly that they can't take us into out-of-the-ordinary rhythmic patterns and are forced to stick to a very basic beat. Our own comfort zone puts limits on what our leaders can do, so we, too, need to keep pushing ourselves to learn new and challenging things.<br /><br />How do we all accept our own comfort zone as a normal and good part of tango while still working to improve on and expand it?<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>Where it comes from</b></div>
<br />I hate to break it to you, but I believe (and I am not alone) that getting stuck in a boring comfort zone or frustrating rut stems primarily from laziness. Fixing those nagging technical shortcomings takes hard work and repetition. We all know leaders who have been dancing for years or even decades who dance the exact same way they did when we first danced with them five, 10, 15 years ago. Same figures, same posture, same technique, same floorcraft. And there are the followers who still have the same rigid embrace or lack of balance that they did way back when, who still can't do a simple <i>giro</i> on beat or follow an <i>ocho cortado</i> on the first try.<br /><br />The consensus among many teachers in my circle is that many leaders are permanently stuck in that intermediate-level comfort zone simply because they can afford to be. There are not that many truly high-level leaders, and, as usual, women outnumber men at almost every event, so many women will settle for a less-than-stellar leader if it means getting a few tandas in. <br /><br />As anyone who knows me knows, I am all for dancing with beginners, giving newcomers a chance and finding the positive in every dancer. But even I lose patience with leaders who think they are much better than they are just because they have a decade or more under their belts, who never take classes, who look at the floor while dancing, take too much space, weave from line to line and use the same party tricks milonga after milonga to every style of music. <br /><br />Year after year I see follower's technique classes overflowing and women lining up for private lessons while men's technique classes are abandoned due to lack of attendance and only a handful of leaders sign up for long-term private instruction. Why bother working hard when you don't have to? When half the women in the milonga will be happy to dance with you even if you haven't changed a thing in the last five years?<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>What it leads to</b></div>
<br /><b>Boredom. </b>Yes, it's normal, and it's fully OK to rest in your comfort zone <i>for a while</i>. For novices, just the fact that you <i>have</i> a comfort zone is an accomplishment, so taking some time to relish it is perfectly fine. Also, understand that everyone has a comfort zone; it's just that some are larger than others and some evolve more than others. This is the key. Evolution. Without it, you and your partners will, eventually, get bored.<br /><br /><b>Frustration.</b> Frustrated with all those partners who don't lead/follow you properly? With the dancers around you on the floor who always seem to be in your way? With the lack of <a href="http://lifeisatango.blogspot.com/2017/10/twenty-tango-lessons-part-13-milonga.html" target="_blank"><i>miradas</i> or <i>cabeceos</i></a> you receive in a night? These are all signs you may have been languishing in your comfort zone too long and it's time to up your game.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>How to break free</b></div>
<br />Below are my suggestions for breaking free of that comfort zone, with a word of warning: Getting out of a rut will take some work, along with a good dose of self-examination, self-awareness and humility. But you already know that tango is a humbling dance, so no problem, right?<br /><br /><b>Make time. </b>If you really can't free up more than one night a week, you might not solve your comfort-zone problem any time soon. You need to put in some class time – with a teacher who will give you a frank dose of reality – and some practice time (see below). You can practice on your own, at home with a regular partner or at an organized <i>práctica</i> at a local studio. And, of course, at milongas, where you will put everything you have worked so hard at into real-world practice.<br /><br /><b>Put your ego aside. </b>Start by remembering that in any sport, physical pursuit or performance art the professionals are the ones who practice the most and they all have teachers and coaches. So saying you don't need a coach or teacher any more or that you don't need to work on your basics is arrogant and, frankly, ridiculous. We all need outside eyes to make us aware of our bad habits and weak points. Try not to get defensive when a teacher tells you you are (yes, still) holding your head too far forward or your embrace is too tense. The first step toward improvement is awareness, and if your ego blocks that awareness you will go nowhere.<br /><br /><b>Open your mind to new approaches. </b>Good, experienced teachers try different approaches because they want to keep you on your toes, so to speak, and stimulate your brains, bodies and imaginations. So give them the benefit of the doubt and try a new way. It may expand your horizons and even give you one of those elusive "aha" moments. I can't tell you how many times I have tried to suggest a learning or practice technique only to be met with instant resistance. "I don't know how to do that." (Um, that's why I'm trying to teach it to you.) Or "I can't learn by watching/listening/just following." (I fully respect different learning styles, but if your way isn't working, why not give mine a try?) Or "Don't bother me with musicality; let me just work on my steps." (Trust me, the music will help you if you just give it a chance.) Trying something completely new might just be the surprise boost you need. For example:<br /><ul>
<li><b>Private lessons. </b>If you've never taken private lessons because you're afraid of boring technical work (see below) or you simply don't see what you would get out of them, maybe it's time to try one – or, ideally, several. Sure, they're more expensive than group lessons, but you'll get way more bang for your buck and probably get your eyes opened to what you really need to work on.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><b>Choreography. </b>Many people shy away from choreography for a variety of reasons, among them the belief that because tango is an improvised dance choreography would be useless. But in fact, learning and perfecting choreography with its sharp transitions, precise musicality and focus on aesthetic appeal could be the one thing that finally breaks you out of that comfort zone and improves your technique. I've seen it happen time and again.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><b>Solo practice. </b>I and most of the teachers I know strongly suggest spending some time practicing your technique and footwork on your own. Get a teacher to suggest some drills for you to repeat; practice the footwork from the sequence you just learned in class until you can do it ten times in a row and on beat every time; spend 15 minutes walking backward or doing <i>ochos</i> or <i>giros</i> with a wall or around a chair; sit, stand and walk with postural awareness in your daily activities; put on some tango music and play the melody with your feet. There are a lot of little ways to fit tango practice into your daily routine, and you and your partners will notice the difference.</li>
</ul>
<b>Get over your fear of boredom. </b>There is a lot of joy and satisfaction to be found in hard work, so learning or re-learning how to stand/walk/pivot properly is unlikely to be boring unless you come in with the preconceived idea that it will be. No one's technique is perfect and there is always room for improvement. The cliché about tango (and life) being about the journey, not the destination exists for good reason. Life and tango would both be boring if we actually arrived one day and had nowhere left to go. And, really, there is just no point in learning four new <i>sacada</i> sequences if you can't properly execute a basic <i>giro</i>.<br /><br /><b>Go to a teacher you trust, and trust your teacher. </b>If you think your teachers have something to teach you, let them do it. Even if you don't always get what the end result of a given exercise is going to be, bear with them and see where it leads. If your teacher seems interested in your progress and has significantly more experience and better technique that you do, you will probably learn something – maybe even a lot. If you really don't trust your teacher and don't think he or she has much to offer you, go somewhere else.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>What to work on</b></div>
<br /><b>Posture. </b>This is probably the hardest thing to work on, because changing your postural attitude means changing years of habits and putting to work muscles you didn't even know you had. But it is so worth it. Proper <a href="http://lifeisatango.blogspot.com/2017/07/twenty-tango-lessons-part-three.html" target="_blank">posture and alignment </a> will give you better balance, more ease of movement, especially in close embrace, and will probably improve your day-to-day life (and appearance) as well as your tango.<br /><br /><b>Musicality. </b>This is my personal favourite quality in a dancer and I know for a fact I am not alone. If you can do the same move three different ways in the music it's as good as (maybe better than) knowing three different figures. So work on your musicality. Leader or follower, it will make you impressive and, more importantly, a pleasure to dance with.<br /><br /><b>Connection. </b>This is the obvious one, I guess. But there are plenty of dancers out there who are much more focused on their feet or their next move than on their partners' reactions. Work on your receptivity, your lead/follow skills, your ability to be in the now and wait for what's coming next and your partners will notice.<br /><br /><b>Simple, useful vocabulary. </b>Yes, it's fun to do cool wraps or <i>colgadas</i> once in a while, when they are smoothly executed. And in the end, everyone should know how to do all types of moves, from <i>ochos</i> and <i>giros</i> to <i>sacadas, volcadas</i> and <i>boleos</i>. But don't neglect the simple stuff: the little direction changes that will allow you to avoid accidents while leading something nice; the compact versions of all your beginner moves, which will allow you to dance on the most crowded dance floors; the musical variations that will keep you interesting even when there's no space to do anything fancy.<br /><br />To summarize, the fact that you even have a comfort zone is a positive sign in the early stages of your tango learning, but get stuck in it too long and it becomes a rut, which will ultimately bore your partners and you. When that happens, it's probably time to swallow your pride, go back, take some lessons and break free.<br /> Andrea Shepherdhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00215588849281040364noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6070854769893113410.post-34452076825344029282018-02-15T17:11:00.003-05:002018-02-15T17:11:14.245-05:00Meditango<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZdophfL-CTk9vqKfqAb-hESO8pOV-d7ZwnjNI9FjBTSz_GqFhDsGfL8tRLRyzoq5NYILQ_FkaooilaLecamcSXN5mnaoh1ESM9FGf_9SCGSS_dx4FEleGFs32UltWHuXzlm043IYA0-pR/s1600/meditango.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="230" data-original-width="800" height="116" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZdophfL-CTk9vqKfqAb-hESO8pOV-d7ZwnjNI9FjBTSz_GqFhDsGfL8tRLRyzoq5NYILQ_FkaooilaLecamcSXN5mnaoh1ESM9FGf_9SCGSS_dx4FEleGFs32UltWHuXzlm043IYA0-pR/s400/meditango.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Many dancers say they enter a meditative state when they tango.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Lots of people say – and I, myself, have said – that tango is a form of meditation. But is it really?<br />
<br />
I
know more about meditation than I once did, and I'm not so sure this
dance can be considered actual meditation, but I do believe it shares
many of the same qualities and benefits.<br />
<br />
•Meditation
has been proven time and time again, study after study, to reduce stress
and anxiety. Physical activity, dance in particular and tango even more
specifically are also well-documented stress and anxiety reducers. (I
even once gave a presentation to a group of educators on tango for
stress reduction.)<br />
<br />
•Meditation improves concentration.
The practice of mindfulness meditation begins with concentration
exercises, which may lead eventually to a meditative state. In the
practice of yoga, there are eight limbs, or steps. The physical poses
(asanas) are third, while concentration (sixth) comes before meditation
(seventh). Tango, too, is an exercise in focus and concentration. We
have many tools – music, movement and a partner – at our disposal to
help us. Many meditation techniques also use tools: a voice to guide us,
a sound (such as a chant) or our own breath to help us focus.<br />
<br />
•Meditation
has been shown to increase happiness, ultimately improving
practitioners' self-image and outlook on life. If you dance tango, I
don't need to tell you that it, too, can bring new joy to your life. The
socialization aspect, the enjoyment of the music and the sense of
accomplishment as we improve our skills are all proven mood-boosters.<br />
<br />
•Both meditation and tango increase self-awareness. I wrote a whole<a href="http://lifeisatango.blogspot.ca/2015/11/building-awareness.html" target="_blank"> blog post</a>
on the subject of tango and body awareness a couple of years ago.
Developing an awareness of our bodies in turn develops our overall
self-awareness.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
•The two practices have been
shown to slow the aging process. Meditation can reduce age-related
memory loss, while tango is increasingly used as a therapy for people
with such diseases as Parkinson's and Alzheimer's. Partner dancing
improves the ability to multi-task or do two things at once – such as
navigating in space while remaining in sync with your partner. Research –
including a <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0965229915000291" target="_blank">recent study by the Montreal Neurological Institute and McGill University</a> on
tango for people with Parkinson's disease – has shown that Argentine
tango offers particular benefits for the brain, probably due to its
improvised nature.<br />
<br />
•On a psycho-emotional level,
meditation and tango have much in common. Being a good tango dancer and
attentive partner involves some letting go of the ego, which is an
important concept in meditation. Tango dancers also need to be able to
let go of the plan – another concept present in the process of
meditation (and another topic I have touched on in my <a href="http://lifeisatango.blogspot.ca/2017/09/twenty-tango-lessons-part-11-learning.html" target="_blank">blog</a>).
And have you ever taken a tango class in which the teachers didn't
mention the need to be present? In the moment, in your body, for your
partner. Meditation, too, is an exercise in presence.<br />
<br />
Anecdotally,
people who compare tango to meditation all say the same thing: It
allows us to let go of our thoughts, worries and stresses and to live
completely in the moment. This is one of the things that drew me to
dance and to Argentine tango. I have an overly busy brain – the kind
that loves to wake me up at 3 a.m. or to distract me from the task at
hand – and tango is one of the only activities that is pretty much
guaranteed to still my mind and make me fully, truly present. Meditation
attracts me for the same reasons, though the work there is more
challenging without the music, movement and human contact to help.<br />
<br />
I
cannot write about meditation and tango without encompassing yoga. Yoga
is not a synonym for meditation – you can do the physical part of yoga
without practicing meditation and you can practice meditation without
yoga. But in my personal experience as a yoga practitioner (and now a
teacher), the two are inseparable. Real yoga is much more than downward
dog and sun salutations, and meditation is an integral part of it. If we
add the benefits of the yoga poses to those of the meditative process,
the similarities with tango only multiply. Both yoga and tango require
and improve our posture, alignment, strength, mobility, balance and
cardiovascular health. In yoga, the physical poses come before
meditation because if we are not able to be well aligned and well
positioned we will be uncomfortable and have difficulty meditating. In
tango, if we are not well aligned and well positioned we will have
difficulty dancing because we and our partners will be uncomfortable.<br />
<br />
My
partner once said to me "what yoga is to fitness tango is to dance,"
meaning yoga and tango both require an awareness of body and self that
is not as present, or at least not often taught, in many other forms of
exercise or social dance.<br />
<br />
Even the advice I read about learning meditation resembles that which I give my students:<br />
<ul>
<li>Consistent practice matters more than long practice. Better a few short sessions a week than just one long one.</li>
<li>If your mind wanders, that's OK and maybe even a good thing. In
meditation we want to notice what is happening in our minds and redirect
our thoughts back to the focus of our practice. If your mind wanders,
it doesn't mean you are not meditating. And if your mind wanders while
you're dancing, it means you're not overthinking and you're dancing what
you feel, using your instinct rather than your conscious mind.</li>
<li>Avoid striving for perfection. Even long-time practitioners find meditation challenging. And even professional <i>maestros</i>
find tango challenging. Both are life-long, life-enhancing practices
that are about reaping the benefits of the journey rather than trying to
reach a final destination.</li>
</ul>
So how is tango <i>not</i> like meditation?<br />
<br />
Of course, tango is a social activity, which is probably the biggest
difference with meditation, a pretty solitary pursuit. However,
meditation is centred around the connection to oneself, and, as mentioned above, we also have
to connect to ourselves if we want to improve our dancing.<br />
<br />
In
tango you are using tools – music and movement – that help channel your
concentration and distract you from your busy mind and the outside
world. My yoga teacher might argue that this is not true meditation,
because distractions are, well, distracting us from the process.
However, tango is certainly a type of concentration exercise, and,
again, concentration is a step on the path to meditation.<br />
<br />
A
couple of years ago I went on a meditation retreat and along with the
many hours of silent, seated meditation we practiced what is called
walking meditation, where we would walk through the woods in silence,
trying to be present and fully focused on our movements, surroundings
and sensations. Sounds a lot like tango, doesn't it? Minus the music and
partner, of course.<br />
<br />
So I guess tango, while not medita<i>tion</i>, could be said to be medita<i>tive</i>. In any case, it benefits us in a lot of the same ways.<br />
<br />
<i>Other reading:</i><br />
While researching this topic I read an interesting <a href="http://www.todotango.com/english/history/chronicle/450/The-benefits-of-Argentine-tango-dancing/" target="_blank">article by McGill's Patricia McKinley</a> on the many benefits of Argentine tango.<br />
I also came across a book (which I have not read) called <a href="https://www.amazon.ca/Tango-Zen-Walking-Dance-Meditation/dp/0975963007" target="_blank">Tango Zen : Walking Dance Meditation</a>.Andrea Shepherdhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00215588849281040364noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6070854769893113410.post-65588188730778700722017-12-27T17:09:00.001-05:002020-10-20T12:28:45.557-04:00Twenty tango lessons: Part 20: The greatest job in the world<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8IG60RRhfmXMhQ1siQfv5rP1hYn_qJmj3dmyWrUhJ2PKAs8d5NCZmYIzYD8sSGOFfN7xJw6Ain0ZAEJBS_7yJRdM0c1LhfmIO7a_UGRVsJB03XelK3zlaHeITI0qPeXzzuKhU632ez-Q_/s1600/AndreaDJ.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1064" data-original-width="1600" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8IG60RRhfmXMhQ1siQfv5rP1hYn_qJmj3dmyWrUhJ2PKAs8d5NCZmYIzYD8sSGOFfN7xJw6Ain0ZAEJBS_7yJRdM0c1LhfmIO7a_UGRVsJB03XelK3zlaHeITI0qPeXzzuKhU632ez-Q_/s400/AndreaDJ.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">DJing is just one unexpected bonus part of my work.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<a href="http://lavieestuntango.blogspot.com/2020/10/vingt-lecons-de-tango-20ieme-lecon-le.html" target="_blank">Lire en français.</a><div><i><br /></i></div><div><i>Here is the last instalment in my series on 20 lessons I have learned in 20 years of tango.</i><br />
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<b><br /></b><b>Lesson No. </b><b>20. I have the best job I could have.</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
When I was a little girl, I wanted to be an actress, a dancer and a writer. The path of my life has by no means been a straight one, and what I thought those things would mean was quite different from what it turned out to be, but almost half a century later I realize that the job I have now means I get to be all those things and more.<br />
<br />
Through my tango school I wear the hats of dance teacher, studio owner, milonga organizer, performer, show producer, DJ and, of course, blogger. All this means I work pretty hard most of the time, but since I love what I do, a lot of the time it doesn't actually feel that much like work.<br />
<br />
As I mentioned in a <a href="http://lifeisatango.blogspot.ca/2017/12/twenty-tango-lessons-part-16-business.html" target="_blank">recent post</a>, the tango business is not always easy. But I count myself lucky to do what I do, because my days are filled with:<br />
<br />
<b>Dancing.</b> As I said, I always wanted to be a dancer. I took my first ballet class at 4 years old, and while I gave up the ballerina dream and eventually ballet altogether in my teenage years, I have not stopped dancing since. The fact I get to dance every day keeps me happy and healthy, body and soul.<br />
<br />
<b>Teaching.</b> I grew up with an intense fear of public speaking and in my youth I never, ever imagined I would become a teacher. I began teaching through my previous career in journalism. I was the main newsroom trainer on new technologies at the newspaper I worked at and for years I taught a university course on newspaper design. This was all terrifying to me at first, but I grew to love teaching – and people kept telling me I was good at it. Teaching is both challenging and rewarding and I can truly say I am passionate about it. Once I started teaching tango, well, I really knew I was onto something.<br />
<br />
<b>Connecting with people.</b> Beyond the dance itself, this is what tango is all about. I love people, all kinds of people, and tango is full of human connections that are varied, often intense, fascinating and satisfying.<br />
<br />
<b>Building a community.</b> My partner and I didn't necessarily plan this one when we were launching our little tango school, but we realized pretty early on that we were not just teaching people to dance, we were building a community and therefore facilitating the creation of all kinds of relationships. I love seeing friendships and partnerships forming around me and – partly – thanks to me.<br />
<br />
<b>Throwing parties.</b> Through my teens and 20s I loved to throw parties. It was pretty straightforward to me: provide a table full of food, lots of loud dance music and invite everyone I could think of. I loved planning the food, preparing the music and building the guest list. So I guess it makes perfect sense that I enjoy hosting and DJing milongas every weekend.<br />
<br />
<b>Performing and p</b><b>roducing shows</b><b>.</b> Had I started tango and plunged into it full time at a younger age, I would probably have done more of this. Despite my shyness I do love to perform, and the experience of producing shows with all the creativity and backstage excitement involved is absolutely exhilarating.<br />
<br />
<b>DJing.</b> This is another unexpected bonus of my job. From mix tapes to CDs to iTunes playlists, I have always loved to put music together, whether it was to work out to, to play in the car or – especially – to get people dancing at a party. Now I find myself spending hours researching tango music – classic or alternative – and building tandas.<br />
<br />
<b>Working for myself.</b> Again, not always easy, but so satisfying. It would be hard for me to go back to working for someone else at this point. It's not that I like being the boss so much – I don't think I'm very boss-like at all – but I sure like being the boss of <i>me.</i><br />
<br />
<b>Working on myself.</b> I have always been active. Tango helps keep me fit and mobile, and keeps me aware of my posture and the effect everything I do has on my partners. But it takes more than tango to keep in shape – for dance and for life. Besides my lifetime of dancing I have run regularly for 25 years. (I keep trying to give it up because combined with all the tango it's too hard on my battered feet. But it's hard to give it up; I just don't feel the same when I'm not getting that intense cardio!) Meanwhile, one of the most life-changing by-products of my tango career has been the discovery of yoga. I took it up a few years ago to try to increase my flexibility, and I quickly gained not just flexibility, but improved strength and balance as well as a whole new understanding of posture, alignment and my own body and self. I have since delved ever deeper into yoga, exploring the aspects that go beyond the physical poses and, earlier this year, obtaining my teaching certification.<br />
<br />
<b>Blogging.</b> As I said, I always wanted to be a writer. English was my best and favourite subject through high school, and my post-secondary studies were all related to languages and literature. I studied translation for a while and worked as a copy editor for several years. In that time I did some writing, but nothing regular. Three years ago I realized that with all my observations about tango and all the analytical thinking I did about it, I should probably start writing some of it down. So I took the plunge and wrote my first blog post, and now I actually have a following! This blog forces me to write regularly, and people read my stuff. Cool!<br />
<br />
So, being a small business owner is not always easy. And the tango business, because it is so close to my heart, can be tough emotionally as well as financially. But the rewards of doing what I love make up for the fact I work long, late hours and don't make much money.<br />
<br />
When I was contemplating leaving my career to start a tango school, my mother and my financial advisor told me not to do it. I had young children, benefits, a pension plan and debt, and opening a small dance school as I was pushing 40 was not a sensible choice. So I did it. The tears I had shed and the aching, empty pit in my stomach I felt once I had decided <i>not</i> to go for what was probably my last opportunity to follow my lifelong dreams could not be ignored. I had the full support of my partner and a year's worth of money to make a go of it, so we held hands and we jumped, taking our young family with us.<br />
<br />
In just a couple of months, our tango school will celebrate its 10th anniversary. Difficult and demanding though it has been at times, I have never regretted the plunge I took a decade ago, but I know with absolute certainty that had I not taken it I would be regretting it every day.<br />
<br />
And when I am compiling tandas for an upcoming milonga, laughing with students as I help them execute a difficult move or mingling with dancers at a milonga I am hosting I still can't get over how lucky I am to do what I do.<br />
<br />
The lesson I leave you with is this: If you have a passion, follow it. And don't let fear hold you back.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://lifeisatango.blogspot.ca/2017/12/twenty-tango-lessons-part-19-getting-to.html" target="_blank"><b>Previously:</b> Lesson No. 19. Tango is a voyage of self-discovery.</a><br />
<a href="http://lifeisatango.blogspot.ca/2017/06/twenty-tango-lessons-part-one-evolution.html" target="_blank">Read the series from the beginning.</a></div>
</div>Andrea Shepherdhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00215588849281040364noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6070854769893113410.post-2705233397370054392017-12-20T10:37:00.002-05:002020-10-12T15:16:17.680-04:00Twenty tango lessons: Part 19: Getting to know yourself<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKNhKU5IMo04jEkkwyYZ_KGIL2y6-gdla29VegfCrEDASZQAL3Fqg1l9CcA0kP7GkES9T9z91CVkr3MKmwoC3EI9bvkmLGOPARnKvVe93lMx39kSLV9Jfr8pjOK210y7F-OKMLSKpdI1EY/s1600/DancingRedLightBW.jpg" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1027" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKNhKU5IMo04jEkkwyYZ_KGIL2y6-gdla29VegfCrEDASZQAL3Fqg1l9CcA0kP7GkES9T9z91CVkr3MKmwoC3EI9bvkmLGOPARnKvVe93lMx39kSLV9Jfr8pjOK210y7F-OKMLSKpdI1EY/s640/DancingRedLightBW.jpg" width="414" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The tango dance floor is one of the few places where I can truly let go.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<a href="https://lavieestuntango.blogspot.com/2020/10/vingt-lecons-de-tango-19e-lecon.html" target="_blank">Lire en français.</a><div><i><br /></i></div><div><i>To mark my 20th year in tango, I have come up with 20 lessons I've learned through this dance, many of which are about myself.</i><br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>Lesson No. </b><b>19. Tango is a voyage of self-discovery. </b><br />
Just as we learn a lot about others through the way they dance, we can also learn a lot about ourselves.<br />
<br />
Studying dance is as much about <a href="http://lifeisatango.blogspot.ca/2015/11/building-awareness.html" target="_blank">developing awareness</a> as developing specific skills; we discover our bodies as we work with them and we also discover ourselves.<br />
<br />
Body awareness is the ability to understand how our bodies move and where they are in space. Such physical disciplines as dance both require and improve our proprioception, which is the sense that allows us to control our body parts without looking at them. <br />
<br />
Self-awareness is having a clear perception of our personality, including strengths, weaknesses, thoughts, beliefs, motivation and emotions, and then taking control of them. Tango can help us build this understanding as well.<br />
<br />
So, to improve in tango we need to know not only what our physical strengths, weaknesses and tendencies are, but also our psycho-emotional ones: Am I receptive? Reactive? Defensive? Passive? Impatient? Is it easy for me to assert myself? To let go?<br />
<br />
Here are a few things I have learned or confirmed about myself over the years, with a little help from tango:<br />
<ul>
<li>I enjoy intensity. I am quite sure this is one of the principle qualities that attracts me to tango. Not much of a lukewarm kind of person, I enjoy rich food, strong coffee, robust wine, scary movies, loud music, hot showers and demanding workouts. I also like intense human connections: While I'm not big on small talk, I love deep conversation – or a profoundly connected tanda. Tango dancers are such an eclectic bunch and I have often wondered if one of the common threads that weave us together is a desire for intense sensations or connections.</li>
<li>Tango allows me to let go. This is one of the other main attractions of the dance for me. Stillness of my mind doesn't come easy. I am a busy person whose busy brain can keep me awake at night for hours. And I worry and I stress – until I hit the dance floor, where the music, movement and human contact all combine to create my great escape. Out on the floor in the arms of a dancer to the beat of a beautiful soundtrack everything disappears but the here and now. Not only is it so completely enjoyable, it is also, I believe, tremendously therapeutic.</li>
<li>I go with the flow. I have always loved surprises and am quite able to take the situation I am given and run with it. I roll with the punches, so to speak. This makes me a natural follower, because I don't overthink what's happening and I'm pretty good at accepting what comes, no matter how unexpected. I think all this all makes me a patient leader, as well, because I'm not overly attached to the past or the previous plan.</li>
<li>So I may be a patient leader, but it took time for me to become a confident one. As I mentioned in my <a href="http://lifeisatango.blogspot.ca/2017/09/twenty-tango-lessons-part-10-assert.html" target="_blank">blog post on assertiveness</a>, it's important to have clear intentions, in life and in tango. Know what you want, say what you want, go after what you want. None of these are skills that come naturally to me, but tango and teaching have helped me develop them. Besides, I did go after what I wanted when my partner and I opened our school, <a href="http://www.montango.ca/english/index.php" target="_blank">MonTango,</a> a decade ago, and it has since grown into one of the city's main tango spots. This has taught me that dreams are worth pursuing.</li>
<li>I don't always fit in. I think one of the reasons I like to be the host, the teacher, the DJ is because if I'm just another participant I sometimes feel like a bit of a misfit. And I've always felt this way: throughout school and in my previous career I was never part of the "in" crowd or the cool clique. I never knew how to pretend to be just like everybody else, or to act a certain way or say the "right" things to get into the "right" crowd. Don't get me wrong: I had friends – a small group of very close ones – and I always got along with most people; while I was a bit of an outsider, I was never an outcast. Sometimes I wonder if this isn't another common thread in tango – this world is so full of odd (and wonderful) characters that it sometimes feels like a reunion of misfits. But then again, there <i>are</i> cliques in tango. I'm just not a part of them and they don't thrive at my milongas. I think what I've figured out is that in tango as in life I always prefer inclusivity to exclusivity.</li>
<li>My limits exist to be pushed. Sometimes I think I would like to live a simpler, quieter life. But every time I go for something simple I end up taking it further than intended. This has been evident in my tango journey: not content to just dance, I began to teach; not content to just teach, I opened my own school; not content with teaching and running a school, I also perform and produce shows, DJ, blog … And, of course, I have continued my own dance, movement and teacher training, taking privates whenever possible, learning to lead and getting certified as a fitness instructor and now a yoga instructor. I don't know what my next big step will be, but I know once I get comfortable where I am I won't stay there for long.</li>
<li>I will never believe I am enough. I think the continued desire to learn, advance and grow is a good thing, but in my case it's also a sign that I never feel I do enough or that I'm good enough at anything I do. For example, I will never be the dancer I want to be. This is both a good and bad thing. It means I get very down on myself at times – especially after watching myself perform. But it also means I push myself harder every time and therefore – I can admit it – I improve.</li>
<li>I love teaching. I may not feel I've become the dancer I strive to be, but I do know that I am a good teacher, and that is because I am as passionate about teaching as I am about dancing. I think I am twice (or more) the teacher now that I was when I started out, and I plan to continue my growth. All the lessons I have mentioned here – and more – have taught me how to better teach others. </li></ul>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
So, what have you learned through tango? Has it helped you grow and evolve as a person as well as a dancer? Has it opened your eyes to something you didn't know about yourself before?<br />
<br />
<a href="http://lifeisatango.blogspot.com/2017/12/twenty-tango-lessons-part-20-greatest.html" target="_blank"><b>Next:</b> Lesson No. 20. I have the best job in the world.</a><br />
<br />
<a href="http://lifeisatango.blogspot.ca/2017/12/twenty-tango-lessons-part-18-tango.html" target="_blank"><b>Previously:</b> Lesson No. 18. Tango can be hard on couples</a>.</div>
</div>Andrea Shepherdhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00215588849281040364noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6070854769893113410.post-90812389642021235512017-12-14T12:52:00.003-05:002020-08-26T12:41:50.091-04:00Twenty Tango Lessons: Part 18: The tango couple<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><span style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="955" height="500" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPTL1XY7Qr9DuQi6H5HWCBkZ8MPsRwrPl3a0pL4lzhzotFiMCGaZUo4w_7RIhNEcky4YqbUAgIXoMMXS88lE2gqV2DwEOxeudeqi52aaEv8UNC_PToppQP0ULZSwdpqt1viwQ1NIgFAHc7/w301-h500/Couple.jpg" width="301" /></span></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: left;">Learning tango with your mate will take</div><div style="text-align: left;">patience, humility and a sense of humour.</div></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<a href="https://lavieestuntango.blogspot.com/2020/08/vingt-lecons-de-tango-18ieme-partie-le.html" target="_blank">Lire en français</a><div><i><br /></i></div><div><i>To mark my 20th year in tango, I have come up with 20 lessons I've learned through this dance that sparked the cliché "It takes two to tango."</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<b>Lesson No. </b><b>18. Tango can be hard on couples.</b><br />
When you say tango, people conjure up images of roses, romance and passion, and tango lessons seem like a great activity to take up as a couple. So you sign up for some classes and instead of the expected romance and passion you find awkwardness, frustration, defensiveness or jealousy. If this sounds familiar, you are not alone.<br />
<br />
In our years in tango together, my partner and I have seen just about every issue that can come up in a couple, and we even lived some ourselves in our early years. There are many possible scenarios, each with its own challenges. Just understand this: Tango does not cause relationship issues, but it can amplify existing ones.<br />
<br />
Some friends and I were talking about this phenomenon a while ago and we came up with the slogan: "If your couple can survive tango, your couple can survive anything!" While I won't be making this statement my school's new marketing campaign, there is a significant element of truth to it.<br />
<br />
Here are some common situations, some issues that arise from them and some possible solutions so that not only can you increase the chance your relationship will survive tango, but also that tango will survive your relationship.<br />
<br />
<h4>
<b>•You take up tango together.</b> </h4></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div>
Beginners dancing with beginners is the usual situation in every group class, but it is never easy.</div><div>
Some of the relationship issues that are easily amplified in a beginner-leading-beginner situation include defensiveness, impatience and jealousy.</div><div>
To learn tango – to learn anything – you need to be receptive. If you are defensive every time the teacher comes to you with a correction or your partner doesn't respond as you hoped you will tend to block your own capacity to learn while placing most or all of the blame on your partner.</div><div>
Face it, you will probably not both pick up the dance at exactly the same pace. Either partner might be a quicker study, and if that partner is you, you're going to have to be extra patient with your partner. If your partner is the faster learner, you're going to have to be patient with yourself.</div><div>
We tend to be less tolerant toward those we feel comfortable with, so when your tango partner is also your life partner, you might let yourself outwardly blame him or her for those missteps more readily than you would a stranger.</div><div>
The early stages of the learning curve are often hardest for leaders, therefore they receive the brunt of the blame – from both parties. Followers with a touch of natural skill can feel they dance well pretty quickly if paired with an experienced leader. But for leaders, there is a lot to think about and understand right from the start. So both partners might feel – somewhat mistakenly – that the follower is learning faster or dancing better than her partner. Reality sets in later for followers, once they realize there should be so much more to their role than "just following." All of this is common and normal, but just try to remember to be patient and generous toward your partner, because no matter what, he or she is just learning too and probably trying his or her best. And spending a lot of time trying to figure out who is to blame is unproductive anyway. Work as a team and, with the help of your teachers, you will see that you both possess solutions.</div><div>
Then there is the insecurity of suddenly seeing your loved one in the arms of someone else. Partner changes are an excellent and – in my opinion – necessary tool for improving your dance skills. But they can make novices extremely uncomfortable. This is normal, and in our classes we do not insist people change partners if they are really against the idea, but if you remain forever unwilling to dance with anyone else or to allow your mate to do so I believe it is not a great sign for your future in tango together. Remember, it is just tango (more about this below), and whether things go well or badly with another partner, you will bring some of what you learned back to your regular partnership.</div><div>
Learning tango with your mate will take patience, understanding, humility and – let's not forget – a sense of humour on both sides.</div></blockquote><div><br /></div><div>
<b>•One of you already dances and introduces the other to tango.</b></div><div>While beginners leading beginners can be a struggle, when experience is paired with inexperience all kinds of imbalances present themselves. Issues that commonly come up in this situation are – again – impatience and jealousy, as well as inferiority/superiority complexes. </div><div><b><br /></b></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><b>If you have less experience than your partner:</b> Do not put your partner on a pedestal. This is one I see all the time, and it drives me a little crazy. Sure, if your partner has been dancing for a year and you just started yesterday he or she will seem like a great dancer to you. But so will almost everyone. And what you need to know is, a year is nothing in tango. Your partner surely has loads to work on still in terms of his or her technique. So try to focus on learning at your pace without comparing yourself to your partner or getting impatient with yourself. Easier said than done, I know, but idolizing your partner as a dancer will get you nowhere.</div><div>
Then there is that green monster called jealousy. Especially if you are new to tango, it can be disconcerting to see the love of your life in the arms of someone else – and enjoying it. I have had more than one student come to me and say they just could not bear to watch their cherished one clearly having the time of his or her life in another person's embrace. It can take time to get into tango enough to understand that for most dancers it really is all about the dance and nothing more. The intensity, connection and abandon don't leave the dance floor. If someone is looking for more than the dance, it has nothing to do with tango; tango just may be the avenue they choose to find it. If your life partnership is strong and you trust your partner, tango won't be a problem. If your relationship is fragile and you don't trust your partner, tango may be a dangerous game to play, but it is not to blame.</div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><b>If you have more experience than your partner:</b> Do not be condescending. No partnership is truly equal (though the best ones eventually come close), so amplifying the inequalities by constantly finding ways to point them out is counterproductive and will only serve to put your partner on the defensive. And remember that you, too, still have much to learn; you're simply at a different place on the curve. As a teacher, I see condescension manifest itself in two main forms: overly encouraging attitudes and teachy behaviour.</div><div>
Overly encouraging? Oh yes. Being encouraging is, in principle, a good thing, but there is a fine line between super-supportive and cloyingly condescending. Figuratively patting your partner on the head every single time he or she gets the littlest thing right is almost as annoying as criticizing every little imperfection. So give praise when you have a great dance or see real improvement, but make sure it is sincere and doesn't come from too high-and-mighty a place.</div><div><a href="http://lifeisatango.blogspot.ca/2014/10/no-teaching-on-dance-floor.html" target="_blank">I've said it before</a>, and here I go again: Do. Not. Correct. Your. Partner. Just because you have more experience does not make you a qualified teacher. So be the competent dance partner you know how to be, but leave the teaching to the teachers, let your partner learn at his or her pace and avoid the temptation to constantly show off how much more you know. Nobody likes a know-it-all, unsolicited advice quickly gets irritating, and constantly putting yourself above your lowly partner will probably do little to make him or her feel comfortable.</div><div>
Also, if <i>you</i> are too comfortable in your superior place, watch out: Your more advanced dance skills are likely not a permanent state of being. There is a reasonably good chance that a year or two from now your partner's skills will have caught up to or even surpassed yours – especially if he or she keeps working hard while you remain in your haughty comfort zone.</div></blockquote><div>
<div>
<br />
<div>
<h4>
<b>•You both already dance tango when you get together. </b></h4></div></div></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><div><div>
You basically have two choices here: agree to make your dancing exclusive or agree to keep dancing with other people. The key word in both situations is "agree." Whatever you decide, you have to both be on board, stick to it and allow your partner the same freedoms you expect yourself.</div></div></div><div><div><div>
I, personally, would find it difficult to go from dancing with different partners and friends to suddenly shunning them all in order to dance every tango with the same partner – even if that partner was the person I love. This decision would not work for me. </div></div></div><div><div><div>
However, no matter how long you have been dancing and how well you both know that tango is about the dancing, there will be times when you feel your partner had one tanda too many with a particular person or looked a little too blissful in the arms of a certain someone else. I know this because I have lived it, too. In our case tango is our full-time job so we had no choice but to learn early on to get over any emotional insecurities that came up. And we fully understand and value the benefits that changing partners brings to our dancing.</div></div></div><div><div><div>
The best suggestions I can make to find a mutually agreeable solution are to keep the lines of communication open and, if necessary, to establish some ground rules. For example, I know some couples who always save the first and/or last tanda for each other. That gives them something special that belongs only to them, but allows them to keep exploring the enjoyment of other partners, expanding their skills and bringing back new experiences that probably end up nourishing their relationship.</div></div></div></blockquote><div><div><div>
<br />
<h4>
<b>•You dance but your mate doesn't.</b> </h4></div></div></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><div><div>
You know as well as I do that tango isn't just another social activity. But then again, it is. If you are going to keep dancing and your mate is not, your mate has to accept that you have an interest and an important pastime that does not involve him or her. But this would be true of any activity you are passionate about and dedicate significant time to, whether it's working out at the gym, singing in a choir or playing golf. Even if you don't play golf cheek to cheek and chest to chest with your fellow golfers.</div></div></div><div><div><div>
To an outsider, this may sound like a rationalization, but it is not: When you are dancing with someone, you are not really dancing with the person, you are dancing with the <i>dancer</i>. You can connect – intensely, profoundly, passionately – with a stranger, because most of the things about that person don't matter on the dance floor: what language he speaks, what he does for a living, whether she has children, what her plans are for tomorrow. What matters is the feel of their embrace, their connection to the music, their ability to express, to listen, to follow. Overall, what matters, quite simply, is what is happening <i>now. </i>Tango is a shared moment – well, a shared 10 minutes – and nothing else exists during that moment, whether you are dancing with your life partner or a total stranger. Then the tanda is over and you move on to the next connection. These connections are not sexual, but at their best they are quite intimate and profound: You are connecting with something that goes beyond the man or woman in your arms, which is why many of us can derive as much pleasure from dancing with either gender, regardless of our sexual orientation.</div></div></div><div><div><div>
It is, of course, possible to confuse these things and to take, or desire to take, things beyond the dance floor. But this doesn't usually happen, and if you've got someone waiting for you at home, it's up to you not to let it. If your relationship is solid and you value it, you should be able to live your passion for both tango and your non-dancing loved one to the fullest.</div></div></div></blockquote><div><div><div>
<br />
Whatever your partner situation in tango, you're doing it to have fun and to add something positive to your life. To continue to do both these things, remember:<br />
•To seek solutions, not blame.<br />
•To laugh off mistakes.<br />
•That tango is about what happens on the dance floor, not beyond.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
In the end, relationship issues might be the thing that makes you decide that <a href="http://lifeisatango.blogspot.ca/2017/12/twenty-tango-lessons-part-17-is-tango.html" target="_blank">tango is not for you</a>. You might even blame tango for the seemingly new issues that have come up in your relationship. Or you might end up using tango to work through some of your issues and your relationship will end up stronger for it.<br />
<br />
As always, I would love to hear your thoughts on this one. Have you lived through similar challenges? How did you resolve them?<br />
<br />
<a href="http://lifeisatango.blogspot.com/2017/12/twenty-tango-lessons-part-19-getting-to.html" target="_blank"><b>Next:</b> Lesson No. 19. Tango is a voyage of self-discovery.<br />
</a><a href="http://lifeisatango.blogspot.ca/2017/12/twenty-tango-lessons-part-17-is-tango.html" target="_blank"><b>Previously: </b>Lesson No. 17. Tango is not for everyone.</a></div>
</div>
</div>Andrea Shepherdhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00215588849281040364noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6070854769893113410.post-44792453550723819762017-12-06T19:09:00.001-05:002017-12-07T10:04:24.801-05:00Twenty Tango Lessons: Part 17: Is tango for you?<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhz641xyyic3G3loJyXNgXjcf8juwbFQgHjxhct9_pr_zA6Wt0azUPTLIMcmusaVFxmoWlYUVuHf3AwfaLZDwBAzVhSy4rFvrJHD-gZYWCQRQpzzIJZrzoZHrh3tCyEOAq4cYx6HEVEqIgr/s1600/B%2526L+3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="1600" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhz641xyyic3G3loJyXNgXjcf8juwbFQgHjxhct9_pr_zA6Wt0azUPTLIMcmusaVFxmoWlYUVuHf3AwfaLZDwBAzVhSy4rFvrJHD-gZYWCQRQpzzIJZrzoZHrh3tCyEOAq4cYx6HEVEqIgr/s400/B%2526L+3.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small; text-align: start;">Tango: It's not as easy as it looks.</span></td></tr>
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<br />
To mark my 20th year in tango, I have come up with 20 lessons I've learned thorough this dance that can be as frustrating as it is fulfilling.<br />
<br />
<b>Lesson No. </b><b>17. </b><b>Tango is not for everyone.</b> In two decades of dancing, more than 15 years of teaching and almost 10 years running my own studio I have seen more people drop out of tango than stick with it.<br />
<br />
On my <a href="http://www.montango.ca/english/about_us.php" target="_blank">school's website</a> I state that tango <i>is </i>for everyone and that "If you can walk, you can dance." I stand by those statements: You can take up tango whether you are 25 or 65, male or female, single or in a couple, shy or extroverted and the list goes on. But, of course, just because you can walk doesn't mean you will dance tango like a pro and also doesn't mean you will love tango. And to keep dancing tango, you've got to love it. Because while the concept is simple, the dance is not so easy. <br />
<br />
As a tango-lover and tango teacher, I certainly think it would be great if everyone at least gave tango a try. You might like it, love it, stick with it and get really good at it. Or you might not.<br />
<br />
Tango might not be for you if:<br />
<br />
<b>•You only stick with things that come easy.</b> Beginners soon realize that if they are going to dance this dance they will have to dedicate a significant amount of time to it. One class a week is not sufficient, and you're probably not going to feel like you're really dancing in less than a year.<br />
You won't stick with tango beyond a few weeks of classes if you don't develop a desire to really work on your dancing, which means working on yourself.<br />
Tango, as all experienced dancers know, is about much more than memorizing a few steps or sequences. It is about connection and communication, posture and a smooth walk, musicality and improvisation. And those things take months – no, years – to develop and – maybe, just maybe – master.<br />
If all this sounds unpleasantly daunting to you, maybe you're on the wrong track. If it sounds more like an exciting challenge, keep going.<br />
<br />
<b>•You expect tango to be just another series of dance steps.</b> First, if you are coming to tango from other social dances – ballroom or Latin, for example – don't expect to skip the beginner levels because of your past experience. Every dance is different, Argentine tango is unique, and you sure aren't going to pick it up in some kind of 10-dances-in-10-weeks format.<br />
Past dance experience might help you learn faster – you may have developed your body awareness, sense of rhythm and lead/follow skills – but you still need to learn the basics. And you might also have to unlearn some of your other dance technique – turned-out knees, loose hips or lifted elbows, for example.<br />
Learning tango is like <a href="http://lifeisatango.blogspot.ca/2014/09/the-language-of-tango_23.html" target="_blank">learning a new language</a>. If you already speak two languages or more, you will likely pick up other languages with increasing ease, yet it doesn't mean you will skip right to advanced-level Russian because you already speak English and Italian.<br />
Again, learning tango is about developing technique as you integrate a whole new vocabulary into your body. It is the discovery of a world all its own and like no other. The steps and sequences are but a small part of what it is all about. If you are ready and willing to discover that, you're heading down the right path.<br />
<br />
<b>•You have very fragile self-esteem.</b> I recently wrote a whole <a href="http://lifeisatango.blogspot.ca/2017/08/twenty-tango-lessons-part-seven-tango.html" target="_blank"><u>blog post </u></a>about how you need a thick skin to dance tango. If your self-esteem is in a fragile state, tango may not be the boost you need right now.<br />
Take up tango and you will discover that you that you have to re-learn how to walk, that your posture needs work and that you don't really know how to embrace someone. So it will probably break you down before it builds you up.<br />
And then there is the social aspect. Everyone has bad nights when we don't get the dances we hoped for, and it can be a struggle not to let such a night leave us feeling deflated, undesirable or resentful.<br />
Some of us are crushed by these kinds of challenges, but some are inspired by and driven to overcome them.<br />
<br />
<b>•Tango is your romanticized idea of a date-night activity with your sweetheart.</b> Of course a session of tango lessons seems like a great idea to inject a little extra passion into your relationship. And I'm not saying that it's not. But people conjure up these rose-filled clichés about tango – that it's all passion and sexiness, and that it will magically bring those things into their lives and their relationship.<br />
Ok. Eventually, it might. But not in the ways you imagine, and not without you putting in some serious time, dedication and hard work in the process.<br />
Also, I hate to admit it, but tango can actually be quite hard on a couple, which I will discuss in detail in my next blog post. The whole partnering thing can be complicated in so many ways, whether you take up tango on your own or with your significant other. <br />
To make a long story short, learning tango together will take patience, understanding, a sense of humour and a good dose of humility on both sides. On the up side, if you are able to work on all these things, it will not only be fun and romantic, it might even make your relationship stronger.<br />
<br />
<b>•You are signing up for tango lessons in the hopes of meeting a mate.</b> Sure it happens. I met my partner through tango and my own brother met his wife in a tango class, but in both cases it was years in.<br />
If you are going to stick with tango long enough to get good at it, you need to love the dance enough to spend a lot of time and effort working on it. Speed dating, tango is not.<br />
Sure you <i>might</i> meet that special someone through tango. Accept it if it happens, but don't expect it to happen.<br />
When my school offers free trial classes for newcomers, we can immediately spot the ones who are there with a clear ulterior motive, and they rarely last long. The dance will just take too much work if dating is the real goal.<br />
Of course, it takes all kinds to make a (tango) world, so there are a few long-time dancers in every community who both love the dance itself and at the same time use it as a way to get up close and personal with those they see as potential mates.<br />
All this being said, if you are signing up for tango lessons as a way to meet <i>people,</i> it might be among the best things you can do. In tango classes and at tango events you will meet all kinds of fascinating folks, all of whom have a significant common interest. Moreso than a couple activity, tango is a social activity, so you will most certainly make friends and become part of a whole new circle.<br />
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<b>•You really don't have room in your life for an all-consuming pursuit.</b> If you want to dance tango, you have to let tango in. Once a week is not enough. Twice a week is not even enough. And if you grow to love this dance, three, four, five times a week may not feel like enough. Tango has a tendency to take over people's lives, at least for a time, and it almost has to, at least for a time, if you're going to get good at it. Tango is often referred to as an obsession, an addiction, a drug. Because tango dancers live, breathe and consume their passion. If you take up this dance in a serious way, you are letting it into your life. Which will affect your calendar, your bank balance, your social life and your soul.<br />
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So tango may totally be for you, if you are not afraid of a few years of hard work and the occasional humbling experience, if you want to make new friends and to discover something challenging, profound and potentially revealing about yourself or your relationship. Or tango may not be for you. You won't know for sure unless you give it a try and see where it leads.<br />
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<b>Next:</b> Lesson No. 18. Tango can be hard on couples.<br />
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<a href="http://lifeisatango.blogspot.ca/2017/12/twenty-tango-lessons-part-16-business.html" target="_blank"><b>Previously:</b> Lesson No. 16. The tango business and the tango community don't always coexist seamlessly.</a>Andrea Shepherdhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00215588849281040364noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6070854769893113410.post-64324024859648207862017-12-01T13:42:00.001-05:002020-08-17T15:17:52.641-04:00Twenty Tango Lessons: Part 16: Business meets community<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjj8cd9dR4k4a_jMkcR9RbQ0_KoWvdKiX7ieuOIixBwjqtohjZ6XLniLkblazYUC2NiDtjdhx2I62fPjerXFP7lRutEq_nm2uV0KzMFJX8b1X4uuyCE-G-WPOTLPN8ScK0mfrpp5dSeM50Y/s1600/milongarialto.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="771" data-original-width="1296" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjj8cd9dR4k4a_jMkcR9RbQ0_KoWvdKiX7ieuOIixBwjqtohjZ6XLniLkblazYUC2NiDtjdhx2I62fPjerXFP7lRutEq_nm2uV0KzMFJX8b1X4uuyCE-G-WPOTLPN8ScK0mfrpp5dSeM50Y/s400/milongarialto.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Isn't it more fun when more dancers come together?</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<a href="https://lavieestuntango.blogspot.com/2020/08/vingt-lecons-de-tango-lecon-no-16-quand.html" target="_blank">Lire en français</a><div><i><br /></i></div><div><i>To mark my 20th year in tango, I have come up with 20 lessons I have learned through dancing this dance, teaching this art and running this business.</i><br />
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<b>Lesson No. </b><b>16. The tango business and the tango community don't always coexist seamlessly.</b><br />
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I have been considering writing this one for a while now, and it's going to be tricky.<br />
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As a business owner, I have many thoughts and feelings on this matter, which are obviously not completely unbiased. I want to address this issue because I think the general community could use some awareness of it. And maybe it's time to have an open conversation about it.<br />
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As I mentioned in my <a href="http://lifeisatango.blogspot.ca/2017/06/twenty-tango-lessons-part-one-evolution.html" target="_blank">first post in this series</a><u>,</u> 20 years ago when I was a beginner in tango you could already dance seven nights a week in Montreal. The thing is, most nights there was only one place to dance, so people knew where their friends would be and most of the community came together at most milongas.<br />
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Also, all the milongas were run by tango schools. Which meant, among other things, that the hardworking school owners could count on a decent supplement to their teaching income to help pay their rent.<br />
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This all started to change about a decade ago. First, it was around that time that Montreal's tango scene started to spread beyond the city's central core. While all the milongas were once in or near the Plateau-to-Downtown area, new schools – including mine – started to sprout up in less central neighbourhoods and suburbs. This meant that those who lived outside the city centre suddenly had more choices. The rationale was that we wouldn't have much effect on the existing schools and milongas because we were geographically distant from them, but the reality was that of course we had an effect on them. At the same time, since we were bringing tango classes into new neighbourhoods, we were also creating new interest in tango and bringing new dancers into the community, thus helping it to grow.<br />
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Then began the "neutral" events: milongas not connected to any particular school. Many dancers loved this new concept, because it meant that people from all the different schools and milongas could come together in one place, meeting new people and discovering new dancers. But business-wise it was not so positive for the schools. Since all the nights were already taken by school-run milongas, these events run by independent organizers had a serious impact on whomever's regular events fell on those nights.<br />
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Then came the propagation of festivals and marathons, which is by no means a Montreal-specific phenomenon. A couple of years ago there were three major festivals in Montreal as well as a handful of smaller ones, plus at least three marathons. That's a lot of competition for the regular events and a lot of big spending expected of the community. It was clearly more than our city could support, as many events folded after one year or a few, and this year there were just two major festivals and one full weekend marathon.<br />
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Many of the independent organizers are not teachers and are not running schools, so they are not growing the tango-dancing population the way the schools are. And for those of us whose milongas support our schools, both socially and financially, it is frustrating to work for years teaching and training dancers and sending them out into the tango world only to have someone launch a milonga the same night as ours and do everything they can to entice our students and clients to go to their event.<br />
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Not to mention the fact that commercial rents are exorbitant (you would be shocked) and Montreal was <a href="http://business.financialpost.com/executive/c-suite/montreal-ranks-as-the-worst-city-to-run-a-business-in-canada" target="_blank">recently declared the worst city in Canada in which to run a small business</a>.<br />
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Just this fall a well-known tango school closed its doors after a decade in business, and while there has been all kinds of speculation as to what precisely caused its downfall, the exponentially multiplying number of milongas and events was no doubt a major factor. Milongas and special events can come and go, but if the schools are forced to close their doors that will not be a good thing for the community. One of Montreal's greatest strengths, I believe, is the quality and experience of its teachers. As my partner recently said to me, social dance events are about the dancers' pleasure right now, which is important, but the schools train future dancers, ensuring the survival of the dance and the community in the long term.<br />
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With all of the extra events popping up, attendance at the schools' regular weekly milongas has suffered, becoming uneven at best. So now many of the schools have started opening new prácticas and milongas on new nights (and afternoons), some hosting as many as five dance activities per week. This means they compete more and more with each other's events and dilute the community further still. My school has been holding a weekly Friday milonga for a decade now. Usually there have been one or two other regular Friday events in town, which is not crazy on a weekend night in a top tango town. But lately I have sometimes counted as many as five events happening on a single Friday. Of course this hits me personally and financially, so from my perspective it is clearly too much, but the part of me that tries hard to be objective and to see things from the public's perspective still sees a problem. Is it really beneficial to have to choose among so many options, and to have your friends and dance partners having to make the same choices? Wouldn't it be more fun for more dancers to come together?<br />
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Obviously, a capitalist society and a free market mean the right and the freedom to do all of this. And then it boils down to survival of the fittest, and many would shrug their shoulders and say: "So be it" or "Suck it up." But does that make it right, or even good for the community, which is, again, increasingly diluted and even, some would argue, segregated.<br />
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An organizer recently justified to me the opening of his new milonga on an already saturated night by saying he was going after a "different crowd." Another organizer astutely pointed out that this was a euphemism for not just the elite-level dancers he's hoping to attract, but also the younger age group he's aiming for. Again, anyone is entitled to create a new event and to target a specific audience, but isn't tango supposed to be the dance of the people? Which to me means all the people – new and experienced, average and highly skilled, young and old.<br />
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I, personally, would like to see more young people in tango and attracting a younger crowd is a challenge many of us have been working on for years, but I don't want a segregated community where "young" dancers all stick together and everyone over 40 or 50 is seen as over the hill or undesirable. Though I was still in my 20s when I started dancing tango, one of the things that attracted me even back then was the fact that it was a dance for all ages and that I would not feel over the hill once I passed, 40, 50 or well beyond.<br />
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Part of this has to do with the size of the city as a whole and, of course, the size of the tango community itself. In a very small city with a very small tango population, the sense of community tends to be very strong and just about everyone works together in some way. In a very big city with a very large tango population – like Buenos Aires or Paris, for example – there are so many dancers that having several events on offer is inevitable, even necessary, and wouldn't have as much impact on the competition. Montreal falls somewhere in between. We're kind of big, and tango is pretty popular, but we are not a big European city with other cities and countries all around us to trade dancers with, and we are certainly not Buenos Aires. Anyway, I have heard that the proliferation of marathons and encuentros in Europe has forced some of the best-known ones to close and that even in Buenos Aires organizers are trying to find new ways to support each other in these difficult times.<br />
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One seemingly obvious solution, of course, is for the schools here to get together and come to some kind of agreement or even form some sort of association. This subject has come up in the past, and a few years ago a group of us did try to form an alliance of sorts, but it didn't work out in the long run, for all kinds of reasons.<br />
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I, personally, see the current milonga situation in Montreal as something of a free-for-all, and I'm not sure there is an easy solution. Then again, maybe it's a bigger problem from my perspective than from that of the public. I'm uncomfortable with the idea of the tango community becoming a dog-eat-dog world, because I feel the sense of community will then be lost and also, I must admit, because it makes my precious business more vulnerable. Then again, business is business, some would say, and it's up to each of us to fight for our own survival.<br />
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I would love to get your feedback on this issue. Do you even see this as a problem? And if so, do you have ideas for a solution?<br />
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<a href="https://lifeisatango.blogspot.ca/2017/12/twenty-tango-lessons-part-17-is-tango.html" target="_blank"><b>Next:</b> Lesson No. 17. Tango is not for everyone.</a><br />
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<a href="http://lifeisatango.blogspot.ca/2017/11/twenty-tango-lessons-part-15-work-hard.html" target="_blank"><b>Previously:</b> Lesson No. 15. Work hard, have fun.</a><br />
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<br /></div>Andrea Shepherdhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00215588849281040364noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6070854769893113410.post-63061168814105999202017-11-16T14:38:00.001-05:002020-07-15T17:49:19.984-04:00Twenty Tango Lessons: Part 15: Work hard, have fun<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglEeao6N7NjZHzQ7lrwcQ7iFtq00pmX1JSaSFGmMCDarVPLsBtppsGkikXcL2o8sdcVDvdpirHSXA0N1WvTO6uU2cxtLsAYkJ2XpePD6I_BPq3iNDD5wDsSF73Qpmy_zEVgg9dL9liLUHW/s1600/couple+at+work+and+play.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="651" data-original-width="400" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglEeao6N7NjZHzQ7lrwcQ7iFtq00pmX1JSaSFGmMCDarVPLsBtppsGkikXcL2o8sdcVDvdpirHSXA0N1WvTO6uU2cxtLsAYkJ2XpePD6I_BPq3iNDD5wDsSF73Qpmy_zEVgg9dL9liLUHW/s400/couple+at+work+and+play.jpg" width="245" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">In tango, work and play go hand in hand.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><a href="http://lavieestuntango.blogspot.com/2020/07/vingt-lecons-de-tango-quinzieme-partie.html" target="_blank">Lire en français</a><div><br /></div><div><i>To mark my 20th year in tango, I have come up with 20 lessons I have learned through this pleasurable and challenging dance.</i><br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>Lesson No. </b><b>15. Working hard and having fun are not mutually exclusive.</b><br />
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Somewhere between the beginner and intermediate phases, it becomes clear to many if not most tango students that this fun social dance is harder and takes more work than they anticipated.<br />
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This realization can have wide-ranging effects on different people.<br />
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Some decide that hours of practice every week and regular <a href="http://lifeisatango.blogspot.ca/2017/08/twenty-tango-lessons-part-seven-tango.html" target="_blank">blows to the ego</a> in the form of corrections and adjustments by their teachers are not the fun date-night activity they had in mind and they drop out.<br />
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Others keep going, but stop really moving forward. They eventually have enough moves and partners to enjoy themselves at milongas so why kill the buzz with hard and boring stuff like posture and – yuck – technique? They are content where they are and don't feel driven to take things further.<br />
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Then there are those who are fuelled by the challenge of this simple-yet-complex dance and they work ever harder, feeling rewarded every time they overcome a hurdle – only to be faced with the next. For these dancers the hard work isn't just a means to an end, it in itself is a huge part of the enjoyment.<br />
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The cool thing is, the harder you work the easier it gets. As you improve your <a href="http://lifeisatango.blogspot.ca/2017/07/twenty-tango-lessons-part-three.html" target="_blank">posture and alignment</a>, strengthen your legs and develop your tango communication skills, the physical and mental effort of dancing and all the multitasking it requires decreases. So if you're feeling like you might give up sometime soon, I suggest reading on, and giving it at least one more shot.<br />
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<b>Here are some ways you can have fun while still working hard to improve your dancing:</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>Focus on the important stuff.</b> Almost every beginner dancer is impressed by the fancy moves they see in shows and on YouTube. Dancers put pressure on themselves (and their partners) to learn lots and lots of these cool moves and to execute as many of them as possible in as short a time as possible. Your teachers might even tell you that the moves are not the important thing, but this is not easy to believe at first. After all, it is difficult to grasp the importance of a caring and comfortable embrace, musical precision and a mastery of floorcraft when you haven't yet felt the pleasure that can be derived from those things. What can I say besides: "Believe us!" A few simple moves well-executed inside the framework of a comfortable and sincere embrace, precise and playful musicality and a smooth dance-floor flow are a better and less stressful goal than trying to remember and execute all the crazy moves and <i>adornos</i> you have seen in your tango life. <a href="http://lifeisatango.blogspot.ca/2017/07/twenty-tango-lessons-part-five-yes-you.html" target="_blank">Yes, you need some vocabulary</a>, but you don't need to use all your vocabulary all the time.<br />
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<b>Believe that hard work truly is its own reward. </b>The process of learning and practicing doesn't have to be a means to an end. There is a lot of satisfaction to be gained from the simple act of making an effort. Nowhere is this more true than in an activity like tango. And then, of course, there will be so many rewards that automatically stem from the work, from being an increasingly sought-after tango partner to improving brain function (as more and more studies tell us) to keeping good posture and joint mobility throughout life.<br />
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<b>Concentrate more on self-improvement than what everyone else is doing wrong. </b>Focus on your partner's shortcomings and you will find more and more of them, guaranteed. This will lead to frustration and impatience on both sides. But focus on what you can do to make your partner more comfortable and the dance will run more smoothly for sure, even if your partner really isn't very good. Feel annoyed every time another couple cuts it a little too close and you will spend a lot of your floor time feeling annoyed. Come up with a few fun go-to solutions to these inevitable realities and you can practically turn the whole thing into a game. You have probably heard that you cannot control events, but only how you react to them. On the tango dance floor, this means you can neither control how your partner nor the couples around will react, but you do have control over how you handle your side of the equation. So when it's not going according to plan, or just not going well at all, resist the urge to make impatient sounds or to correct your partner. Instead, examine and work on your own skills: stand straighter, drop your shoulders, fully connect your legs in between steps, listen more, slow down. You will have worked to improve yourself, given your partner a more pleasurable experience and made yourself a more desirable dancer in the process.<br />
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<b>Remember that others are not to blame for your bad nights.</b> Sometimes you will have a bad night, no matter who you are. Maybe at last week's lesson you finally felt you were moving up the learning curve but tonight you hit not just a plateau but a wall. Perhaps you arrived at the milonga dressed to the nines and ready to dance the night away, but you only got two tandas in and both felt sub-standard. Hard as it is, the best thing to do is to accept that yes, you had a disappointing night, and then move on. Don't wallow in it, blame your inadequate partner, resent your teacher or the milonga organizer or hold a grudge against all the dancers who didn't invite you. And maybe don't vent all over Facebook either. Feel how you feel, accept both the events and your thoughts about them, then do whatever you can to let it all go. But also don't let one bad night (or even two or three) crush you. Instead, use it to drive you further along that learning curve. Sign up for a private lesson, ask a teacher or admired dancer for advice, arrange to practice with a friend, make an agreement with your partner to be less critical of each other in class.<br />
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I live this work hard-play hard balance in running my business every day. Yes, I work hard. Really, really hard. Many people do, and anyone who runs a small, hand-on business does. The work sometimes overwhelms me and there are days that get me down. I worry about my injured feet, get frustrated with my own dancing, butt heads with my (equally hard-working) partner, face unfriendly competition, cringe at my bank balance … but the rewards! I am constantly surrounded by movement and music and wonderful people. I dance and teach and host parties and create playlists of my favourite music every single week. So I also have fun. So much fun. Not despite, but because of the fact I work really, really hard.<br />
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So work hard to have fun, and have fun working hard.<br />
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<a href="http://lifeisatango.blogspot.com/2017/12/twenty-tango-lessons-part-16-business.html" target="_blank"><b>Next:</b> Lesson No. 16. The tango business and the tango community don't always coexist seamlessly.</a><br />
<a href="http://lifeisatango.blogspot.ca/2017/10/twenty-tango-lessons-part-14-be-kind.html" target="_blank"><b>Previously:</b> Lesson No. 14. It is as important to be kind and generous as to follow the codigos.</a></div>Andrea Shepherdhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00215588849281040364noreply@blogger.com0